


Only the forgotten ones are truly dead

by NannySnakeEyes



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Aziraphale (Good Omens), Caring Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley is Good With Kids (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, False Memories, Female Crowley (Good Omens), Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt Crowley (Good Omens), Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Loss of Trust, Love Confessions, Male Crowley (Good Omens), Memory Loss, Multi, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Self-Harm, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Trans Warlock Dowling, Trust Issues, english isn't my first language, non-con in later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2020-11-01 01:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 38,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20805389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NannySnakeEyes/pseuds/NannySnakeEyes
Summary: Our favourite angel/demon pair has to face a few heartbreaking challenges.After getting caught in a trap Crowley looses his memory and Aziraphale does his best to help his demon remember.But some old adversaries do their best to keep that from happening. This is a story of angst, drama, hurt and (occasionally) fluff.Will they find their way back to one-another?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> first of all: hi! this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story. i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi! this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story. i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''Well, I guess today is your lucky day, Aziraphale!“, Gabriel said with a smirk on his face. ''It appears, that your sword has been found.“

The angel seemed perplex at those words. It's not like he lost it (again), but it was rather picked up after the apocalypse that didn't happened. He wasn't quite sure how to feel about this. But he forced a soft smile on his face, ''Oh my.. well those are some good news I suppose. I thought it was already in safe hands.. Where was it found?“

''Oh I'll give you the coordinates. It's not far outside of London. Be sure to be there as soon as possible before it vanishes again.“

Aziraphale blinked with confusion. ''So it is still there? Who found it and why wasn't it taken back to heav..“, the angel had many question but was rudely interrupted by Gabriel, ''That doesn't really matter now, doesn't it?“, the crooked smile on his face was long gone as he starred Aziraphale down with his intimidating purple eyes.

''The most important thing is, that it is still there and you, Aziraphale, are his rightful owner, and the one who lost it in the first place. So I advise you to go and get it, before someone else does. Your pet demon has a car, doesn't he? You can take him with you for all i care.“

Aziraphale swallowed hard at those words. _Since when does Gabriel care about Crowley? He never mentioned him even once after the Armageddon't and it even seemed like he was trying to erase him from his memories after the failed execution on both of us._ The angel felt something like a knot in his stomach. Something didn't seemed right.

''Any more questions?“, Gabriel asked with an intimidating voice. Aziraphale shook his head. ''Well then..“, the archangel clapped his hands,“I'm looking forward on your report. Don't mess it up.“ And with those words, Gabriel went of, leaving the angel, still confused, in the big white hall.

  
  


*****

  
  


Meanwhile in the bookshop, Crowley waited patiently for his angel. Or.. at least he tried to. He actually intended to surprise Aziraphale with some self made cupcakes, for which he spent hours in the kitchen to make them perfect, a bottle of the finest (or most expensive) champagne he could find and one silver ring, emblazed with a beautiful garnet – the stone for eternal love – in a little dark Box. When Crowley let himself into the bookshop, he had found a note, placed on Ziras desk..

  
  


_My Dear, _

_my attendance was needed in heaven. _

_I will be back soon. _

_Love, Aziraphale. _

  
  


Great. He had everything planned so carefully just to find his angel nowhere to be seen. A deep sigh left his lips.

The demon wandered around the shop thinking. Their friendship has been up for over 6000 years, Armageddon't now lies 5 years in the past and their relationship has been official ever since that lovely evening at the Ritz back then.

_To the world.._ These words passed Crowleys thoughts every now and then. Ngh._._ he planned his words so carefully and even wrote them down on a piece of paper, but the absence of his angel threw him completely of tracks. ''Aziraphale.. no. Angel! Angel.. i would like to ask you.. nah that's stupid..'' Crowley was clearing his throat and practised his words in front of a mirror. ''Angel.. we have been friends since.. since the beginning.. Or at least i liked you since we first met in Eden... Did he even liked me_?''_ He asked his mirror self. ''I mean.. I don't know, now that I think about it. Could have gotten him an apple. Naah he could've interpreted that very wrong for all i know..''

His hands started shaking and Crowley could feel his throat turning into sandpaper. "Ok fuck thisss!" He hissed as he was stomping his feet. The demon took a deep breath as he decided to just improvise while putting his tiny note back in his jacket. That's_ not me.. I know Angel loves me for just being me. No need to pretend anything._ He looked at the ring and smiled. _But I do hope he says yes.._

He put the ring-box back in his pocket and started to move the furniture in the back room, to make some space for a cosy, white blanket on the floor. The cupcakes were placed on a big silver plate, and the champagne, with two glasses of course, were now safe on the coffee table.

_Well that looks good enough.. Now what?_

Time works different in Heaven so Crowley had no idea when his angel would return. His eyes fell on some vinyl discs lying next to a record player.

He looked through them until he found what he was indirectly looking for.. Queen – Greatest Hits the first pressing from 1981. _Jackpot!_ It took some time to admire this beautiful treasure and he wondered if Aziraphale had it in his collection just for the sake of it, or maybe as some kind of treat for his demon.

Carefully, the disc was placed on the record player and as soon as Crowley heard the first note of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' reaching his ear, he let go of his troubled mind and started singing and dancing dramatically like nobody's watching..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Aziraphale found himself back in his own bedroom just above his bookshop.

Still concerned about Gabriel words, he sat back on his bed pinching the bridge of his nose.

_I have a bad feeling about this.. what am i supposed to do? _

Just as he closed his eyes and let himself fall back on his bed, the angel heard something familiar coming from down the stairs..

''Crowley?“ he asked with a soft voice when he got up from his bed and went to his bedroom door opening it.

“_Ooh love, ooh loverboy.. what're you doin' tonight, hey boy.. set my alarm, turn on my charm.. that's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy.."_

_Is Crowley singing along to the song? _ The thought of it made him smile as he carefully walked step by step down the stairs.

And there he was, swinging his hips precisely to the music and singing with passion.

Aziraphale was just standing on the stairs, adoring his demon. Crowley turned around and almost let out a tiny scared hiss when he spotted his angel just watching him, blushing instantaneously. They both just spent a second to just look and smile at each other when Crowley started to dance and sing again, pointing his finger at Aziraphale.

''_Ooh love, ooh loverboy.. what're you doin' tonight, hey boy.._“

Slowly he made his way towards the angel, untying his scarf and waving it at Zira. The demon stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking up to his angel and throwing his scarf around his neck, pulling him carefully closer to him, down the stairs.

''_When I'm not with you.. I think of you always.. I miss you.. when I'm not with you, think of me always.. love you, love you.._“

The angel started blushing, reaching the demons face with his hands and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Suddenly he was grabbed at his hips and swung around while Crowley caught one of his hands and started dancing with him. Aziraphale laughed in surprise but started to dance alongside his loved one, swinging their hips synchronised.

''_What're you doin' tonight, hey boy.. everything's all right, just hold on tight.. that's because I'm a good old-fashioned, fashioned lover boy.._“

And with those words, the song ended, both breathing heavily but smiling at each other. Now Crowley but his hands up Aziraphales face, kissing him softly.

„Where did that came from? I don't recall ever seeing you dancing or even singing like that?“, the angel asked, still with a big smile on his face.

Crowley shrugged, ''I don't know.. I was kinda in the mood for it i guess..“, kissing his angel deeply. ''I missed you, Angel..“

''I'm sorry my dear, but my attendance was rather important..“, he pointed upwards, pressing his lips together to a straight line.

''And what exactly was so important? They left us mostly alone for the past 5 years so what is it that's..“

But Aziraphale interrupted him before he could finish his sentence, ''They found my sword.“

Crowley looked at him slightly confused. ''They _found_ your sword? That burning one?“ The angel nodded. ''But you didn't lost it again? That delivery guy picked it up right after..“

''Yes and that's precisely why it concerns me..“, the smile on his face was now completely gone. ''It.. it's just.. this doesn't seems right. I have a bad feeling about this..“

Crowley carefully got hold on his angels chin, lifting it up to look him in his shining blue eyes, ''Did they tell you who found it?“ Aziraphale shook his head. ''And where is it now?“

''Apparently still there. Gabriel wants me to get it myself, because it is still my sword and my.. responsibility after all.“

''Well I guess we shouldn't waste any more time then.“, the demon suggested, placing a soft kiss on Aziraphales cheek.

The angel looked up to him with a surprised face. ''Wh.. what? Now?“, he asked in confusion.

''Sure why not? If it's done, it's done. Besides, I believe the sooner the sword 's back in the hands of his rightful owner, the better. Don't you think?“, Crowley could feel his angels concern but tried to make him feel better by forcing a smile on his face.

Aziraphale let out a sigh, looking on the wooden floor and then back into Crowleys amber coloured eyes. ''I suppose you have a point, my dear..“, he said still with this terrible feeling in his guts. ''Lets get this over with.“

The angel forced a smile on his face while the demon hold the door for him. Both getting into the Bentley and driving of..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley made their way towards the supposedly location of the sword.  
Aziraphale is still worried but the Demon still has an ace up his sleeve..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for reading my story and leaving some kudos <3  
i already wrote a few chapters ahead and i'm planing on posting regularly :)
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story. i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley could still feel the tension in the air. He didn't know how to feel about this either. After all, the sword seemed to be in good hands or at least at a safe place.

The longer both of them drove the less populated everything around them seemed.

''How much farther is it?“, Aziraphale asked carefully.

Suddenly the Bentley came to a stop at a dead end. ''I'm not sure.. but it seems we have to walk the last few miles.“

Both got out of the car, surrounded by big trees. The sun was already gone by their arrival. ''Guess i should have brought a torch.“, Crowley said while starring into the dark forest.

Aziraphale took a deep breath and miracled a bright light into his right hand, which was about the size of an orange. The demon blinked a few times before putting his sunglasses back on his face and reaching for Ziras free hand. ''Shall we..?“, he asked carefully.

The angel let out sigh and took his hand. ''Let's get this over with.“, and with that said, both made their way through the woods.

They walked for a few minutes until they reached their supposed destination, an open countryside right within the forest. They spotted a giant building which looked like an abandoned storehouse.

''Ok I have to admit..“, Crowley began to say, ''.. this really looks suspicious.“

''Well.. maybe the angel who found it made this thing around it so it's not laying on an open field?“

Crowley looked around and sniffed the air. ''Or maybe it wasn't an angel after all..“, putting his sunglasses back into his pocket.

Aziraphale starred at his demon slightly shocked. ''Do.. do you mean...?“

''Yesss.“, Crowley hissed while stepping in front of his angel in a protective position, ''I can still smell them..“

Aziraphale swallowed deep, ''Are they still here? Should we..“

''No.“, Crowley cut him off. ''A demon can't harm you. At least not as long as I am around.“

The angel grabbed his arm, turning him around to face him, ''But they _can_ harm you! Or drag you back to hell! Or heaven knows what else!“ Tears of fear filled his eyes. ''I knew we shouldn't have come here!“, and just as his tears started running down his face he could feel Crowleys hand on his face.

''Hush please.“, he said with a soft voice. ''Everything is going to be just fine. I promise you! Heaven and hell left us alone for good. We go in, we get the swords, we go home. Ok?“ The demons loving eyes and kind words were balm for his soul.

Aziraphale nodded, sniffing, forcing the littlest smile on his face. Crowley wiped the rest of his tears away and pulled him in for a hug. ''Besides, I have a plan B up my sleeve if everything goes pear-shaped“, he said while pulling a small ampulla out of his front pocket.

''Wh.. what is this?“, the angel asked with a nervous tone in his voice while following the little object with his eyes. ''Crowley? What is that?“

The demon lifted one of his eyebrows, looking at Aziraphale with a you-know-exactly-what-this-is-look. The angel looked at him with big eyes and an open mouth. ''Holy water.. HOLY WATER?! And you just left it in your front pocket?! Are you crazy??“, Aziraphale almost slapped it out of the demons hand but instead tried to calm himself, asking again in a much softer voice, but still with a look on his face that said everything, ''Where did you even get it from?“

''You gave it to me, angel..“, Crowley said with a crooked smile on his face, which threw Zira completely of tracks. ''You _do_ remember the flask, do you?“

''And you just decided to splash around with it a little?“, he could feel his voice growing louder again.

''I didn't splash around with it! I just took a few drops for.. lets call it extra assurance.“

_Extra Assur._. Aziraphale didn't now rather to laugh or cry, just shaking is head in disbelief.

Crowley pulled his chin up again and kissed his angel long an deep. ''Hey..“, he said finally, ''..don't you trust me?“

''Of course I do, my dear.“, hugging his demon but much carefully now with the knowledge of the ampulla.

''Good..“, Crowley placed a kiss on his white curls. ''Let's get this over with.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphales worst fears came true as they walked inside the building.  
It was a trap..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi! this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story. i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Slowly they made their way towards the building. The grass underneath their feet was so wild and tall that it almost reached up to Crowleys hips. But with a simple snap of his fingers it bowed before them.

_Angel is already so distressed, can't let his pants getting ruined with grass stains on top of it all.._

The demon led the way and stopped right outside of the abandoned storehouse. Aziraphale followed close behind.

''I can feel it.“

Crowley looked close at his angel as he continued, ''The sword.. it's here.. somewhere..“

''So it actually_ is_ here?“

Aziraphale nodded.

The demon took one last careful look at their surroundings before stepping inside.

They found themself in one giant hall, the ceiling looked like it was about to collapse, the stars shining from above, spending just a little bit of light. But besides each other and some bricks and junk, the hall was empty.

''You sure t'ss here?“, Crowley asked while his eyes were still looking around to find something sword-like.

''It must be. I can still feel it..“

''And it is right here with me..“, a familiar voice echoed behind them.

''Hassstur..“, Crowley hissed as he turned around and stepping in front of his angel, releasing his obsidian coloured wings in an protective position. ''Should've known 't wasss you.. That strong scent of.. oh help me out here.. Warlock had such a suitable word for it..“

The black eyed demon just snarled at his words while three other demons emerged from behind him.

''Do you know them?“, Aziraphale whispered behind Crowleys back.

''No, i don't think so..“, he tried to keep everyone of them in his eyesight.

''What do you want?“, the angels voice clanged through the room.

''You came for this, didn't you?“, Hastur said self-confident when he waved his hand to the demon to his right, which pulled up something from behind his back.

It was wrapped up in some dirty looking linen. The demon was about the same size as Hastur, but he looked nothing like other demons Aziraphale had ever seen.

This one had shining red eyes but his whole body looked like he had been the victim of a fire. His skin was black like coal but you could still see the heat and flames inside it.

The angel starred at the wrapped object in his hands and knew right away what was inside. ''My sword..“, he said with a soft voice as he stepped next to Crowley to have a better look at it.

Crowley quickly took his angels hand, to keep him from getting any closer.

''And where did you get that from? It was supposed to be in safe hands.“, his demon asked suspicious.

''Accidents happen every day..“, Hastur said with a crooked smile on his face. ''This thing between you two..“, he gestured with his hand in front of the pair,''..has been going on way too long. We all agreed, that now's the time to stop playing around.“

''What do you mean with '_we_'?“, Aziraphale asked, although he already knew the answer.

''Hell... Heaven..“ The angel could feel his heart dropping on the floor, as his former bad feeling now came to a realisation.

''We had an agreement!!“, Crowley spat, ''We were meant to be left alone for good!“

''And you have been long enough!“, his opponent responded, ''And now it's time to say 'good-bye' to each other.“

Crowley pulled his angel behind his back, his wings still spread wide and his body in an position to attack at any time.

''Crowley.. we've been friends..“, Hastur began to say but was quickly shut down by Crowley.

''We were NEVER friends!“

''Oh don't say that.. those words hurt, you know?“, a big grin has formed on his face, showing his black teeth. ''But i forgive you. And, in honour of our friendship, I leave the decision to you. You can either choose to kill the angel,..“, Aziraphale swallowed hard.''..or live with the consequence. Or, if you choose nether, you both are going to die. So, you decide.“, he finished with a confident grin.

Crowley was full of rage. He would love to just rip them all apart, all at once, but then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder.

''Please love,..“, Aziraphales voice sounded to soft and loving, ''..do it.“

Crowley turned around to face him, ''What?!“, he asked.

''You need to kill me.“, was the answer he's got from his angel. But before he could protest about it, Aziraphale put one finger onto his mouth, hushing him. ''I love you, my dear. And I always will. I don't want to see you getting discorporated or destroyed. Please, my love, do it for me.“, tears filled both of their eyes.

''Angel..“, Crowley began softly as he slipped a tiny box inside of Aziraphales pockets, without him noticing. ''I never thought a demon like me, could even love someone as much, as I love you. I would even fall for you over and over again, just to see you safe and happy.“

The angel looked slightly shocked at those words. He could never imagine what the feeling of falling was, but from Crowleys narration, he knew it was the worst possible thing happening to someone.

He looked his demon deeply into his amber coloured eyes, bracing himself for whatever would happen next.

But he could've never quite imagined what actually would happen.

Crowley lifted his head up to give him one last kiss as he slowly reached inside his front pocket. ''Please don't forget me.“, that was the last thing Aziraphale would hear right before a flipping sound.

As he opened his eyes again, he found himself back in his bookshop, alone, in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is about to face Hastur and the other Demons..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, this chapter is the shortest so far but keep it up! More is on it's way!
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''Oh buuhuu, well wasn't that lovely?“, Hasturs mocking voice echoing through the hall.

Crowley closed his eyes, wiping the last tears of his face as he heard footsteps slowly approaching him from behind.

He looked at the small ampulla in his hand, ''Perhaps.. but I do think t'ss rather sad that none of you will ever experience something so beautiful and pure like this.“, and with those words said, Crowley swung himself around and started flapping his wings, raising dust from all around them to cut the clear view the other demons had on him.

''Oh come on! Stop this, will you? You can't..“, but Hastur started coughing before he could finish his sentence, the other three demons tried making their way closer to Crowley.

_Aziraphale.. please forgive me.. _

And with one big strike, the ampulla flew right into the face of the demon closest to him.

The thin glass broke at impact, throwing the creature on his knees while screaming in pain, holding his face.

Crowley withdraw his hand and hissed in pain as he looked at it. He was too close, his hand was slightly burned, but not as bad as the face of his opponent.

_Fuck! _

Hastur was still standing on the opposite side of the hall, the other demons ready to tackle Crowley.

_Now is not the time for self-pity! _

His fingers turned into claws as he struck one of the others, almost scratching their eyes out.

All happening within seconds, but it felt like an eternity.

His wings still widely spread and flapping to distract his opponents.

_I know I can't get out of this, but at least I can give them a little fight._

Crowley fought with everything he's got, not even thinking about giving up, when suddenly something hit him on his back, bringing him down to his knees.

_Fuckfuckfuckfuck!_

He completely forgot about Hastur.

The demons used the moment and started kicking and beating him down. He could feel some of his rips cracking, and his head was getting heavier and heavier with every blow.

At this point, Crowley was hardly conscious, blood streaming down his face and all over his body.

Hastur stepped in front of him, pulling on his hair to lift Crowleys head up to look at it.

''You're still fighting aren't you?“, but Crowley wasn't able to answer.

_As long as I am alive, I will never stop fighting. _

Hastur let his head drop hard on the stone-cold floor, stood up and said with a calm voice, ''Grab his wings and hold them behind him.“

The two of them positioned themself, each of them taking hold on one wing, breaking and twisting them.

They managed another painful scream out of Crowley.

Hastur looked to the burned face demon, ''You! Keep him to the ground.“

The demon approached him, pushing his shoulders down.

Hastur leaned close to Crowleys ear whispering, ''This will hurt really, really bad.. but don't worry. You won't even remember a thing.“

Panic spread through Crowleys body, trying to get loose from the harsh grip of the others, but failing.

_Aziraphale.. Just think about Aziraphale. My Angel.. I am so sorry. _

He spotted the linen laying on the floor in front of him.

His eyes widened but before he could even say something, a loud slashing sound echoed through the hall, followed by two dull ones, as his wings fell to the ground.

Everything went black..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale is on his way to find Crowley, but is he prepared for what he is about to see?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while and I'm sorry.  
I just got a new job and I still need some time to get into it.  
I'll try to upload new chapters more regularly, because i already wrote like 5 chapters ahead.
> 
> please don't be to harsh on me, for this is my first fic ever and i'm no nativ speaker xb  
i'll do my best but please excuse some grammatically errors that might accrue >.<

It took Aziraphale a moment to realise what had just happened.

He didn't even dare to breath, even tho he doesn't need to, he was just listening to the sound of silence, which fell over his bookshop. Almost like a statue, he was standing still, trying to focus while his mind seemed to be a complete mess.

The angel reached up to his lips where he felt the soft lips of Crowley just moments ago, slowly realising.

_Oh no.. Oh please God no!_

He felt panic rushing through him as he started shaking, almost violently, before collapsing on his knees.

''You stupid demon!“, he screamed into the empty shop, as if Crowley were able to hear him, ''You.. you.. fuck!“

Aziraphale felt hot tears dripping from his eyes. He held his hands up his face and started sobbing uncontrollably but suddenly stopping, thinking.

_Maybe it isn't too late.._

The angel quickly got up to his feet, trembling as he rushed outside of his beloved bookshop. It was still dark outside, only a few people on the street, mostly drunk ones.

_I won't be fast enough if I take the public transport.._

All it took was a little snip of his fingers, to turn out all the street lights and security cameras for a few miles around him as he spread his wings, and lifted himself up into the night sky.

The wind was cold on Aziraphales face, forcing tears in his eyes, but he didn't care at all.

_Crowley.. please.. please don't be.._

He felt his wings getting tired by the speed he'd never even thought he could reach, but he forced himself to go on, even as they started aching. The angel flew high enough to not be spotted, but also close enough to remember the way they had taken previously.

He spotted the Bentley, still parked on the same spot.

_It must be here somewhere.._

And there it was. That building.

Aziraphale landed a few metres before it. He just stood there for a moment and tried to listen, but all he could hear was his heart. Besides that, it was completely quiet, like almost unnaturally quiet. No bugs or early birds, not even leaves rustling in the wind.

The angel took a deep breath before he went inside with caution.

He didn't knew if there where still demons around, but he could feel his sword, still here, somewhere.

He found himself in front of the big hall, bracing himself for what he was about to see.

Aziraphale slowly stepped inside, looking for any demons that could trap him, but it was completely still, and dark. The only source of light being his sword, which was laying in the middle of the hall, throwing a shadow onto a body, which lay next to it, face to the ground.

The angel could feel his heart drop.

_Please God no.. please don't let it be him.._

He made his way towards the body, steady but slowly, until he could see the soft shade of red hair.

''..Crowley..?“, he asked with a shaking voice, as he sped up, running.

As he reached the body, he dropped to his knees, placing his hand over the back of the demon, only to quickly cover his mouth in shook.

_His wings.. they took his wings.._

Aziraphale rolled the glazed body over to take a look at his face. It was swollen and bloody, almost not recognisable.

''Oh my dear, what have the done to you?“, but he got no answer.

He placed his hand over the demons heart. He could feel the broken bones and just a little bit of life, still holding on tight.

The angel knew he had to act fast, so he put both of his hands on Crowley chest, repairing the broken bones first.

He could feel the tiny flame of life in Crowleys body fading slowly.

''No! You don't get to die now! I won't allow it! Do you hear me!“, he found himself sobbing and screaming at the almost lifeless body. ''I don't know if this will work.. I never tried it on a demon before but.. please dear, stay with me!“, Aziraphale leaned over the body, going face to face.

He carefully opened his partners mouth, using his thumb.

_Please God, please let this work!_

He shut his eyes closed, single tears dripping, as he got closer over Crowleys body, and softly blowing life into him.

The demon let out one short breath before falling silent again.

Aziraphale remained silent as well, just watching and praying, that his kiss of life worked.

''Crowley.. can you hear me?“, he asked with a low voice, placing the demons head onto his lap, stroking his red hair. Tears filled his eyes as he, again, got no reaction.

''Oh my dear boy..“, he wept, ''I am so sorry that I couldn't be here sooner.. please rest now.. I love you so dearly.. my dear boy.. my dear Crowley..“, and just as Aziraphale finished his words, he could feel the body beneath him starting to twitch.

''Crowley?“,the angel asked carefully as bright yellow eyes ripped open in shock, and a deep gasp for air filled the hall with life.

The demon lifted his head up, trying to get up but landing on his knees instead, breathing fast as he frightened looked around.

''Hush dear, it's ok.. try to breath slow and stay as calm as you can, you are still pretty damaged..“, Aziraphale tried to stay calm as well, but his voice was clearly trembling.

Crowley turned around in shook as he clearly didn't expected anyone to be with him.

''Who.. what.. what happened? Where am I?“,the demon was shaking violently.

''It's ok Crowley dear. You're safe now.“,the angel held up his hands, like someone would might with an frightened animal in front of them.

''Cr..Crowley.. Is..is that my name? Do you know me?“

Aziraphale looked confused as he could feel his heart drop once more.

''What.. what..“, Crowley quickly got up to his feet as he spotted the sword next to Aziraphale, pointing at it with a shaking hand, slowly moving backwards, ''What is this?“,he looked at his burned hand, then back to the angel, ''Did you do this to me? Who are you? What do you want from me??“

Aziraphale slowly rose to his feet, his hands in front of him, as to show that he wasn't hiding anything.

He couldn't remember ever seeing Crowley this frightened before.

He kicked the sword away and tried to slowly move closer to the frightened demon. ''Just calm down please, will you? I don't want to do anything to you, I'm trying to help you. You are still hurt pretty bad so please let me take care of it.“

''Stop! Stay where you are! Please.. I.. I don't..“,but as he tried to finish his sentence a sharp pain went through his body.

Crowley screamed in agony, trying to stand.

''My back.. it hurts.. like.. something's cut..“, Crowley tried to get hold onto something, noticing the blood all over his body. ''Please..“, he hold out a hand for Aziraphale but collapsing in an instant.

The angel was quick enough to keep his body from dropping onto the cold floor.

He was still trying to understand what had just happened but taking care of Crowley was now the most important.

''Let's get you home, shall we?“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale is taking Crowley back to the bookshop to take care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellö :) please excuse even more typing errors this time but i'm really sick right now and my only goal today was to upload another chapter x)

Carefully Aziraphale lifted the demon up, to carry him in his arms.

He used a tiny miracle to make Crowleys body almost hover over his arms, but he still hold on tight.

_Can't risk to hurt himself even more with his own bodyweight._

The sun was almost rising as they made it to Crowleys car. With a single flip of his fingers the doors opened.

Slowly Aziraphale placed the wounded demon in the back seat, laying him down while placing his own coat underneath Crowley head, to give him some support.

Tears filled his eyes as he looked down at his demon.

_He looks so vulnerable.. This is all my fault.._

Aziraphale seated himself behind the wheel, taking a deep breath.. ''Ok look. I know you don't like me and that feeling is mutual,“ the angel realised how stupid he must look, talking to a car.

But after taking a look at Crowley in the back seat he continued,“Crowley is hurt.. really bad. I'm scared he might die..“, tears dropping down his face, ''So please, could we put our differences aside? I need to get Crowley home as soon as possible..“, and with that said, the motor started.

''But remember! I said _fast,_ but please don't discorporate us on the way.“

  
  


*****

As the car parked in front of the bookshop, Aziraphale released an relieved ''Thank you“, before bringing Crowley inside.

He placed him on his bed in the tiny flat above the store. The demon was still asleep but twitching and mumbling in pain.

_Best to keep him sleeping until he recovers completely._

He placed his hand on Crowleys head to make him sleep peacefully.

Carefully, Aziraphale took off the demons clothes, to have a better look. What the angel saw, made him feel ill.

His body was covered in bruises, cuts and dried blood.

_Nonono! What have they done to you? My dear, beautiful Crowley.. This is all my fault. I should have done something! Anything!_

The angel sat in front of the bed, he reached for the demons hand, only to discover that it was burned.

_That _ _ damn _ _ holy water! You idiot!_

But his anger was quickly shut down by a flood of sadness, that rushed over him. Covering the burned hand with his own, he lay his head on top of it, crying, weeping.

_Get yourself together! Now is not the time for self-pity! Crowley needs you! Now! _

Aziraphale wiped the tears away and made his way towards the kitchen, to prepare a large bowl with hot water and a flannel.

He started by carefully cleaning the damaged body. The water remained hot and clean miraculously.

The angel lifted Crowleys torso to reach for his back.

_Your Wings.. They took your beautiful wings.._

He quickly blinked the tears away and continued cleaning. After it was done, he took care of the burned hand. Aziraphale lifted it up as carefully as he could, placing a soft kiss on top of it. It started to look better almost immediately.

_The sun is setting already.. I think it's time for a break.._

It has been a while since the angel last made that many miracles, which exhausted him quite a bit.

He covered Crowley up with a warm blanket, taking one last look, before making his way down to the shop.

This day was rather stressful so he decide to pour himself some wine to calm his nerves.

He walked into the backroom to discover that the record player was still on.

The angel walked up to it to turn it out when he noticed a slight change in the room. The furniture was moved, and a large blanket lay on the floor. On top of it he spotted some cupcakes and champagne was placed on the table next to it.

_Did Crowley did this? Well who else would have done it?_

Aziraphale couldn't believe his eyes, inspecting the sweets.

_Did he baked those for me?_

He remembered as he had walked down the stairs, sooner that day, Crowley seemed so happy and light-hearted.

_You really shouldn't have, my dear.._

He seated himself in his favourite armchair as he noted something in his pocket. He reached inside to reveal a tiny, dark box.

_Where did that came from?_

At first, the angel didn't meant to open it, but his curiosity was stronger.

Inside was a silver ring, emblazed with a beautiful garnet.

_The stone for eternal love.. Was Crowley planing on a proposal?_

Aziraphale almost dropped the ring as he started sobbing again. He did his best, not to screamed in pain.

_He didn't recognised me.._

This was too much for him.

„He didn't recognised me!“, he cried out, not expecting an answer anyway.

As the sun was rising, Aziraphale noticed that he had fallen asleep on the floor, still holding the tiny box in his hands.

He got up and was about to miracle himself some tea, but stopped shortly before.

_No. No more unnecessary miracles! Crowley needs them more than you!_

He went to the kitchen to quickly wash his face in the sink, before getting back upstairs to the wounded demon..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley wakes up in an unfamiliar room and trying to make sense of what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley awoke with a big headache.

He rolled around in a big bed trying to find a comfy position.

''Aah my head.. what happened?''

Suddenly his eyes went wide and he sat up in an instant. _What did happen?_ He tried to stay calm, his eyes wandering around the room to spot something he might recognised.

Crowley hold his hands up his face, 'What is going on here?“, he whispered to himself.

He tried to make sense of the things that happened, in his mind.

_This massive hall.. how did I get there? And that man.. who was he?_ _He didn't seemed like he would do me any harm.. he called me something.. what was that again..?_

''Crowley?“, as he heard the voice outside the room, he quickly lay down again, pretending to be asleep.

The door opened slowly. He heard footsteps approaching, slow and soft as if they were on tiptoe.

He noticed something was placed next to him on the night stand and he tried not to move as he felt a warm hand touching his head softly, stroking his hair out of his face.

''My poor boy..“, a voice said softly.

Crowley could hear the pity in his tone, but he remained still.

As he heard the steps going outside again and the door closing, he carefully opened his eyes, as if to check if the person was still with him.

As Crowley was certain that he was indeed alone again he rose slowly to sit again.

Next to him on the night stand, he noticed a tray with a cup of hot chamomile tea, a glass of water and muffin on it. He reached for the water and took a suspicious sniff.

_Doesn't seem to be poisonous.._

Crowleys throat was sore, probably from screaming, so he took a cautious sip. 

_Holy- I don't think I've ever had such a delicious water before!,_ thinking to himself so he drank it up all at once in one big gulp.

He felt already a little bit better but was still kind of dehydrated so he reached for the tea next.

It was obviously freshly brewed, smoking hot, but as he grabbed the kind of old looking cup, he didn't feel any heat at all.

Crowley slowly rose the cup to his mouth as not to burn himself, but instead he was greeted with just the right temperature, enjoying every single drop of it.

As he inspected the cup closely, guessing that it might be a few centuries old, he remembered his burned hand.

He took a shocked look at it, but couldn't find any traces of burned flesh.

As Crowley got out of bed, remembering his bloody body, he got rid of the pyjama top and inspected himself for some cuts or other damage.

He remembered his back burning so he checked the room for a mirror to take a closer look at it.

Crowleys eyes fell on a dressing table, which also looked kind of antique, but still quite nice. He stepped in front of it, turning around, trying to see if there was anything on his back.

Suddenly he went completely still.

He turned around to look directly into the mirror.

As Crowley sat himself on the chair in front of the mirror, he took a closer look. His eyes were yellow and serpent like.

He just starred at himself in disbelieve as he tried to make sense of it.

_Are those contacts? They must be! But why would i wear those hideous things by choice?_

He rose his hands up to his eyes, trying to remove the supposedly contacts. But it just would not work.

Fear crept over him as he searched for some kind of flash light. He turned the light around the mirror on, almost blinding himself.

Crowley tried to calm himself by taking deep breaths while covering his eyes, to adjust them to the dark, before putting them away and looking into the mirror.

His pupils adjusted themself for the sudden change of light.

Crowley backed-up instantaneously, screaming in fear as he stumbled backwards over the chair, hitting his head on the floor.

The door opened in an instant as a now familiar voice called out, ''Crowley? Dear, are you ok? What happened?“

It was that guy from back then in that dark hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale have their first little chat after the Demon wakes up..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Aziraphale tried to lift the demon up carefully, as Crowley was clearly shaking again.

''That mirror.. something is wrong with it..“, he tried to sound calm but his voice was cracking.

''What do you mean with _wrong_ my dear?“, Zira asked.

''I.. Just take a look at it! You'll see!“, the angel seated Crowley on the bed again before walking over to the dressing table to inspect it. ''See! See! T's broken or something!“

''I can't see exactly what you mean, I'm afraid.. What did you see in the mirror if I may ask?“

Crowley swallowed. He must look really ridiculous right now. ''My.. my eyes.. they don't look normal in there!“, pointing with a shaky hand towards the mirror.

''Should I take a look at your eyes myself? Maybe I can see something..“, the angel asked carefully.

Crowley hugged himself with his slim arms, looking down on the floor, before nodding.

Aziraphale approached him slowly as he could feel the fear inside his demon. ''May I touch your face?“, he asked kindly.

Crowley looked at him shortly before nodding again.

''Ok, well let's see what we have here..“, his hand felt warm on Crowley chin, as he lifted it up to have a better look at him. ''I can't see anything strange.. They look just as beautiful as the always do.“

The Demon flinched at those words, releasing himself from the soft grip.

The angel took a step back before asking, ''What did you saw in the mirror?“

''My eyes.. they looked.. like they belong to.. to.. some kind of a snake.. sharp.. yellow..“

Aziraphale felt like the floor was vanishing underneath him.

The demon shrugged his shoulders. ''I dunno, maybe I'm crazy.. ngh..“, he put his hands up his head, his face forming a grimace of pain,''My head hurts..“

Those words put the angel back on track, ''May I?“, he asked again carefully.

''May you what?“, Crowley answered snippy.

''May I help you with your headache? Trust me. It will be gone in an instant.“ Aziraphale noticed the demon flinch. ''I won't touch you if you don't want me to.“, the Angel said carefully. ''I just want to help you..“, holding out his hand in front of the Demon.

Crowley hesitated at first, but agreed, holding up his head to have a good look on Aziraphale, as he put his hands on Crowleys temple. The Demon seemed more relaxed just by the soft touch of it, almost leaning into it.

The angel used a tiny miracle to heal Crowleys headache. He was still exhausted from the healing he performed on his Demon for the past few days, to keep him in a deep slumber to make sure he would heal a bit by his own.

Just as he released Crowley from his pain, he was grabbed on his wrists by him.

The look he had on his face, was like the one of a toddler seeing a christmas tree for the very first time. ''How did you do that?“, he asked with a soft voice, looking the angel deeply into the eyes.

''You really don't remember anything, do you?“

Crowley shook his head.

Aziraphale sight, ''Let's get you all dressed up first, then I will make us some tea.“

The demon nodded.

''I allowed myself to clean your clothes for you.. They're laying right next to you.“, Crowley flinched in surprise as there were clearly no clothes next to him a few moments ago.

''I'll be right downstairs. Feel free to join me if you're ready.“, Zira said with a smile as he made his way towards the door but being stopped by a small ''Wait! Please Wait..“, he turned around to face the demon again.

''What is it dear?“

Crowley looked at him with big eyes, ''Wh.. What did you say my name was again?“

The angel could feel tears rising up his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away.

''Crowley.“, he knew that one word wasn't the answer the demon expected so he continued, ''Anthony J. Crowley.“

As Zira noticed that the demon repeat his name to himself, he couldn't help but smile a bit.

''And.. what.. if I may ask..“

''You can ask me anything you'd like to know.“

Aziraphale didn't even noticed that he was holding his breath, even though he didn't physically need to breath. It just became some kind of habit after all those years he spent on earth.

''What is your name?“, it broke his heart, hearing does words, but he forced a kind smile on his face as he answered.

''Aziraphale.“

Crowley repeat his name as well to himself, ''May i call you something more.. short? Or.. less complicated? I'm sorry, but all this..“, Crowley tried to gesture with his hands, ''T's really messing with my head..“

''Of course. I understand.“ His kind and warm voice seemed to relax the demon. ''We can talk about everything you'd like to know. I'll be waiting downstairs when you are ready.“

As he closed the bedroom door behind him, Aziraphale couldn't help but sob. He covered his mouth with his hands, trying to make as little sound as possible.

The angel made his way down the stairs, to prepare some tea for them.

_Stay calm, _he told himself. _What does he know.. or.. what does he remember? Is he even remembering anything? _Aziraphale wiped his tears away and took deep breaths, to calm himself. _He clearly doesn't remember me or even his own name. It even seemed that he doesn't remember angels.. or at least me. _

The angel sat himself in his favourite armchair, waiting and bracing himself for the talk which was about to come..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley makes his way down into the bookshop and spotting something familiar..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

As soon as the door closed before him, Crowley let himself fall back on the bed, letting out a deep sigh.

_What the fuck.._

It was too much for him. Everything was just too much. He closed his eyes, _remember! Come on! Remember!_

He slapped himself, trying to trigger something, anything, but it just wouldn't work.

He got out of bed, and studied the clothes, which had seemed to just miraculously appear next to him.

_All black.. well that's a happy colour.._

As Crowley tried to squash himself into those way to tight skinny jeans, he felt something inside his pocket.

_A phone!_

Maybe there were some photos, or names or anything else that would help himself to remember.

The phone unlocked itself at Crowleys touch.

_Ok lets have a look at the contacts first.._

His excitement was gone as soon as he realised that he had only 5 numbers saved. The first one being someone called 'Angel' (marked as a favourite with a star next to it), the second one was named 'Adam', followed by 'Book Girl', 'Shadwell', last one being 'Warlock'.

Some pictures shoot up his mind, but way to blurry to make out what they meant.

Did he hit someone with his car once?

Crowley could hear something, which sounded like a little child calling for a nanny but he couldn't quite make out where it came from.

_Maybe the pictures are more helpful.._

They were mostly selfies.

_Great. Now I know at least that I'm a narcissist._

There were some pictures of some kids as well, but not even one which showed the nice blond man. _Az..Azira..phale?_ He didn't even has this name in his contacts..

Suspicion rose inside his mind.

_He was the first thing I saw when I woke up.. He seems to be a nice and caring guy.. I don't think he means any harm.._

Crowley dressed himself up, wiggling in his jeans to get more comfortable.

As he reached for the bedroom door, he passed the mirror again, but instead of looking at his eyes, he noticed his butt looking way too good in those pants. _Well.. not so bad actually.._ He winked at his mirror-self before making his way out of the room.

_Smells like.. old books.. leather and.._ „Tea?“, a soft voice asked. ''It's ready if you like some.“

Crowley noticed the kind man sitting in an old looking armchair. ''Yes.. yes thank you.. would it be ok if I look around a bit?“

Blue eyes shined up at him. ''Of course! Take all the time you need.“ Aziraphales kind smile made Crowley smile as well.

He went down the stairs, still pulling on his pants. ''Are you sure they are mine? They are kinda..“

''Tight?“ The angel giggled at him. ''Yes they belong to you. I told you many times to get something more.. comfortable. But you always insisted to keep them on.“

''I insisted..“, he repeat with an displeased face, which made Aziraphale giggle even a little more. ''Ok so narcissistic and stubborn, got that.“

''What was that?“

''Oh nothing, was just talking to myself.“, Crowley said as he made his way into the bookshop. He strolled around the quite old looking books towards a big window.

Aziraphale waited in the back room patiently, giving the demon some time and space.

''Holy Shit!!“, the angel braced himself for what he was about to see, expecting the worst, but instead he saw Crowley standing close to the window, gazing at something outside. ''Is.. is that my car? It is, right?“, the demon noticed that he sounded like a little child, but the euphoria was overwhelming.

Aziraphale let out a sigh in relief. ''Yes it is. She's one beast of a car if I may say so.“

Crowley had an evil grin on his face. ''Oh yes, she is..“

„I took care of her as best as I could, when I drove us home.“

The demon turned, facing Zira. ''When you drove us home?“

Aziraphale swallowed. Maybe he should choose his words more wisely now. ''Well.. yes. You were clearly not in the condition to drive but.. maybe we should talk in the back room.“

The angel waved his hand in an inviting gesture.

Crowley bit his lip but nodded, going back to the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley are having 'The Talk'.
> 
> Will this work out well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley sat on the couch, clearly trying to find a comfortable position.

As Aziraphale was about to pour them some tea, he was stopped by Crowleys voice asking, ''What time is it?“

The angel wasn't sure, how to answer. ''The.. 21st Century?“

The demon blinked a few times in confusion, before starting to laugh. ''Nah, I meant if it's so soon to drink something more.. alcoholic? I do think that I could really use something right now..“

_Looks like at least something is still in Crowley after all._

He put the tea kettle aside, ''I do believe it's never too soon for wine.“

Crowley smiled at him, ''That was exactly what I wanted to hear.“, biting his lip and winking at Aziraphale.

_Well, maybe this isn't going to be too bad after all.._

He reached behind his armchair to reveal a bottle of wine and 2 glasses.

''Do you always have that within reach?“, the demon asked with a smirk.

Of course, Aziraphale had just miracled it behind his chair before reaching for it. ''Well, no. Not always of course..“

''I didn't saw the bottle when I walked around your chair to get to the couch. Are you some kind of magician or something?“

Pictures appeared before Aziraphales eyes.. Warlocks eleventh birthday.. Crowley had always hated it, when the angel performed (or at least tried to) fake magic for humans.

He realised he was starring at nothing, when Crowley waved at him to bring him back.

He shook his head and poured some wine. ''No.. at least not that kind of magician.. or anything like that at all.. I..“, he began to stutter, but as he looked at Crowleys wondering eyes, Aziraphale tried to concentrate, taking a deep breath.

''This must be really hard for you too I suppose..“, the demon said with a calming voice as he seated himself closer to Zira.

The angel nodded quietly.

''From the way I see it.. we must be friends right? The way you look at me and obviously took care for me.. We must have been kinda close right?“

Aziraphale forced a smile on his face, nodding before answering, ''Best friends.. Even closer than that..“. Tears started to fill the angels eyes.

Crowley reached for his hand. ''Look.. I am sorry.“, the demon began.

''What for?“

''For not remembering. It obviously hurts you. I am sorry and I don't know how to feel about this either.. I am not sure how I am supposed to feel towards you.. But,“ he began, reaching for both wine filled glasses, giving one to Aziraphale before continuing,''.. I am sure we can make this work again. So let's raise our glasses, a toast, to a new beginning.“

_To the world.._ ''To a new beginning.“; Aziraphale repeated as their glasses clinked. Both smiled at each other, tasting the wine.

Crowley took hold of his hand and began to talk, ''So Zira.. May I call you Zira?“ That sounded strange, being called something other than 'Angel' by his demon but he nodded in agreement. ''When and where did we both met? Do you remember that?“, the demon asked.

''How could I ever forget that?“ _Careful now with your words_, he told himself and continued, ''We met in a garden. The most beautiful there ever was.“

Crowley leaned in closer, paying close attention to the angels words. He looked like a child, listening to a fairy tale.

''In the beginning, we weren't really fond of each other..“

''Why was that?“, the demon interrupted.

''Well, some might would say that we have been.. on opposite sides..“ Crowley raised his eyebrows but let Aziraphale continue on. ''Of course that changed over the years. We still had some disagreements from time to time, but we always found our ways back to each other.“

The demons face relaxed and he smiled at him.

''And I have to admit.. There have been too many situations in which you could have just watched me suffer for my own stupidity, but you would always show up to keep me out of trouble.“

Crowley started to giggle. ''Oh is that so?“, he asked with a teasing voice.

Aziraphale started to laugh. ''You did risked a lot for me. Back in 1941 when you...“

_Fuck._

''1941?“, Crowley asked with a confused voice. ''Am I that old already?“, he laughed at first but stopped as he noticed Aziraphales stare. ''A..Zira? What is it?“

Aziraphale took a deep breath.

''There's something I need to tell you..“

Crowley gave his hand one last squeeze before leaning back on the sofa. ''Ok.. I'm listening..“

_Why couldn't you just have shut your mouth once! Just once! _

The angel got nervous, placing his empty wine glass on the table and sat up straight in his Armchair. ''Crowley..“, he began. ''You asked me, if I am a magician. I don't do magic. I perform miracles.“

Crowleys face stayed emotionless as he listened.

''I am an angel. We met each other 6000 years ago.“

Aziraphale expected any kind of reaction from the demon, but not laughter.

_Is he seriously laughing right now?_

''Wh.. what's so funny?“, he asked carefully.

''You! You almost got me!“, he continued laughing. ''An angel! Of Course! And what am I? An aardvark?“

''No I don't think you understand.“

''Oh I think I do..“, Crowley started to say but was quickly shut down by Aziraphale.

''No! You don't understand! I am telling you the truth!“

The laughter had stopped.

''You said we where on opposite sides.. And if you are an _angel_.. that makes me..?“

Aziraphale swallowed. ''A demon.“

Silence.

''A demon.. of course..“

The angel made an attempt to speak but Crowley was faster. ''You know.. for just a few moments, I really believed that you were my friend.“

''Crowley..“, he began but was hushed as the demon made his way to the front door.

''Good to know that you don't care at all, but instead made me a fool. Do you have my keys?“

Aziraphale looked at him shocked. ''Do you remember where your flat is?“, he asked with a shaky voice.

''I'll figure that out myself. Keys!“, Crowley said again with a more demanding and angry voice, stretching one arm towards Aziraphale.

He tossed the keys towards Crowley with a heavy heart.

''Thanks.. thanks for nothing..“,that was the last thing Aziraphale heard before his door smashed shut and the Bentley quickly driving of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley gets back to his flat and starts to remember somethings..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friendly reminder that i am no native speaker :)  
so please excuse some grammatical errors x)

Crowley had no idea where he was going, he just wanted to be gone. Far away from that Zira.

''Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!“, he screamed inside his car, slapping his hands on the steering wheel.

As he had to stop at a red light, he caught his eyes in the rear view. The demon starred a while at his serpent-like eyes.

Almost instinctively he put his hand up to his front pocket, pulling a pair of sunglasses out of it.

_Are those mine?_

The sound of honking cars behind him pulled Crowley out of his mind as he noticed the traffic light had switched back to green. He waved his hand back as a gesture of apology when he started driving again, carefully putting on the black glasses.

_This looks and.. feels right,_ he thought as he looked again at himself in the tiny mirror.

As he tried to focus more on his surrounding, he noticed a few modern looking apartment buildings. There was that same familiar feeling again. The same feeling back when he looked outside the book store window and spotted his car.

_That bookshop.._ The thought of it was quickly forgotten as he parked his car and got out to wander around a bit.

_I do know this place.._ The demon stopped at one particular building. It was just.. a feeling that told him to get inside. _The Keys! Maybe.._ And the door unlocked with a click.

He got into the lift and let his fingers run along the buttons. There was that feeling again. The door opened at the top floor.

With a suspicious look, Crowley exited the lift. His feet led him to an apartment door.

_Well, here we go.._ One key was left, and with a deep breath, it found the keyhole in the door, opening it as well.

Step by step he made his way into the flat.

It was cold but modern looking, mostly grey and black walls, except one room, which was filled with plants.

Astonished by the beauty Crowley took of his glasses to have a better look. Palms, ficus, a rattlesnake plant, anthurium and many more filled air with life.

''Wow.'', he didn't really know what to say at this sight. ''You look so beautiful! Every single one of you.''

_Am I seriously talking to plants right now?_

Crowley didn't noticed the plants leaning over to him as he praised them.

''But that doesn't mean you couldn't do better.'', he said as he inspected every plant very precisely.

''No..'', he stopped in front of an aralia.

''You! Take a look at yourself!'', the plant started to shiver. It had big leaves, but very few. It looked almost naked. Crowley knelt in front of it as if to get on eye contact. ''You are a disgrace! How.. many.. times.. do I have to repeat myself until you finally listen and GROW BETTER!''

The whole room seemed to be shaking by the terrified plants.

Suddenly, tiny pieces of memory hit him, forcing him to stumble backwards, sitting on the floor.

Pictures flashed before his eyes. Pictures of.. _a garden? Everything is so green and beautiful.. peaceful.._

''Well, that went down like a lead balloon.''

_What?_

New pictures started to appear.

''I don't need you.''

_Is this a park?_

''And that feeling is mutual!''

_Who's talking? _

''Obviously!''

_That's St. James Park, isn't it?_

Realising, that he was still sitting on the floor, Crowley quickly got up. His plants shouldn't see him that vulnerable.

He turned to the still shaking aralia and pointed a warning finger at it, ''You have 3 days! Or else..“

Leaving the room and heading for the bathroom he was thinking, _maybe a nice hot shower will help getting a clear head_.

The bathroom was, what a surprise, like the rest of the flat, pretty dark and modern looking. Black tiles covering the floor and walls, a huge bathtub which could've fit at least 2 people inside and an extra shower, also big enough for more than one person.

Crowley chose the shower and started getting undressed. He let out a deep sigh as the hot water hit his body. It was such a relief after everything that had happened. Smoothly his hands glided along his body..

_Have I been to harsh with Zira? I think he was just trying to help.._

He chuckled, _an Angel.. of course!_

The smile faded as his hands reached back over his shoulders. Something has been taken from him.. something else besides his memory.

As Crowley got out of the shower, he moved to his bedroom. Not very cosy looking as well. Looking inside his wardrobe he noticed something odd..

_Are those.. dresses?_

He took one out, holding it onto his body while looking in the mirror.

_Hmm,_ he thought to himself, _kinda Mary Poppins looking but not bad at all._

''Nanny!''

Crowley turned around so quickly that he almost fell backwards.

''H.. Hello? Is anyone in here?'',he asked carefully.

That was a kids voice, without question.

''You don't need to hide! It's okay!''

But he got no answer.

Was his mind playing tricks on him?

He hung the dress back into the wardrobe and picked a pair of black jeans and a simple black shirt. With a bored look an his face, Crowley sauntered through the empty apartment. He felt so lonely.. so lost.

Wandering into the kitchen he noticed a big bottle of scotch.

_Well, alcohol it is, for today._

The cap went off and he poured himself a glass full..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is accompanied by a not familiar face (for him) and Aziraphale gets an unexpected visitor..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irst of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley found himself wandering off into the night.

After a few drinks, he desired to get some fresh air, leaving the car behind.

He didn't know where he was going, he was just letting his feet carry him.

As some time had passed, Crowley found himself in front of a park. Although he was still kinda drunk, he observed his surroundings with great precision.

_I've been here a lot.._

Standing in front of a pond, pictures started to flash in front of his eyes.

_The same pond, the same spot but.. different times?_

He remembered countless conversations, but with whom? Taking a seat on a park bench, he held his face in his hands and tried not to sob again.

_Please.. please_, Crowley thought to himself,_ please if there's anyone out there.. please help me. I can't.._, but he was interrupted by a firm hand touching him by the shoulder.

He quickly rose up in shook.

''Oh.. I'm sorry but.. are you alright?'', the man sitting next to him asked.

The demon eyed his sudden company close. A tall man with dark hair and a nice grey suite.

Crowley must have still looked quite in shook because the man held up his hands in an excusing gesture, ''I am sorry. I didn't mean to scare you, but you seemed rather.. lost.''

He tried to relax a bit and answered, '' 'S fine. Really.. It's just.. There has been a lot going on..''

''I understand.'', his voice sounded so kind. ''Do you want to be alone?'', the man asked.

Crowley hesitated a bit before answering.

He didn't know the man but he didn't seem to be a threat either. And besides that, being left alone was the last thing Crowley wanted right now.

''No..'', he answered with a shaky voice,''No. Not really.''

''Do you want to walk a few steps?''

The demon nodded.

_What are you doing? You don't know this guy!_, he thought to himself, but the man just seemed so nice and caring. _Like Azira.._

The man got up first, offering Crowley a hand, which he took with caution.

The moment he was standing, he noticed the alcohol once again.

His head felt dizzy and he trembled on his feet, but before he could sat down on the bench again, the man in the suite was there to catch him.

''You can hold on to me if you like.'', he said, offering his elbow.

The demon eyed him suspicious, ''Thank you.. ehm..''

''Gabe. Call me Gabe.''

''Gabe. Thank you, I'm.. Anthony.''

''Nice to meet you, Anthony.'', Gabriel said with a smirk on his face as Crowley took hold onto him, smiling back at him.

*****

  
  


_ Sooner that day.. _

  
  


_Thanks.. thanks for nothing._

These words were still hunting Aziraphales mind, and breaking his heart.

_Thanks for nothing._

He was still standing on the same spot where Crowley had left him, as he rushed out of the bookshop.

The Angel felt like he was frozen in time. The same moment repeating in front of him over and over again.

_Thanks for nothing._

Aziraphale wanted to run after the demon, to tell him not to go.

_This is all my fault. He needs more time and I was completely overwhelming him.._

The shop remained closed that day, like it had been for the past two weeks.

He dried the last tears on his face before heading for the back room.

As Aziraphale was reaching for a cup of tea, he heard the bell above the door ring.

''We're closed!'', it sounded more aggressive than he had intended to.

Footsteps approached him closer and closer.

''I said: We are clo..'', he turned around to see Gabriel standing in front of him.

''Aziraphale! Nice to see you too.'', the angel said with a smirk on his face.

Aziraphale was stunned at first, ''You..'', but then fury began to rise inside of him, ''You!! For heaven's sake, what do you want?''

''I'm still waiting on your report. And your sword of course.''

That was enough for the Angel. He slammed Gabriel back against a wall, holding his sword, which miraculously seemed to appear in Aziraphales hand, at his throat.

Gabriels reaction was more astonished about the sudden temper, than being scared.

''It was you, wasn't it? Answer me!“, Zira demanded but his opponent just smiled.

''Didn't know you had it in you, you know. This 'rage', this.. blood thirst. I like the look on your face, i have to admit that.''

''What have you done to Crowley? Tell me at once or..''

''Or what, exactly? You're going to kill me?''

Aziraphales body stiffened.

A sudden silence hit them as the angel considered Gabriels words.

''I probably won't, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't deserve it!''

Ziras eyes filled with tears as he spoke, but he quickly blinked them away, ''Why? Why did you do this?''

''Well..'', Gabriel began,''..you know. Sometimes things just don't go as planned. You could say it's.. ineffable.''

''Out.'', the fury was back in Ziras eyes. ''Get. Out. NOW!'',he screamed, pushing his opponent forwards the door.

''I would like to take the sword with me. It still belongs to heaven.''

The audacity..

''It belongs to me. It was given to me by the Almighty herself. Leave now or I will sent you back to heaven myself.''

''This isn't over you know?'', and with a simple nod Gabriel left the shop. ''See ya!''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and his new companion are going for a stroll. Crowley tells him about what had happend and Gabriel is eager to listen..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''He said he's an angel?'', Gabriel fake-laughed.

''Yeah, I know, right?''

They both were still walking along in the dark and silent park.

''Maybe I just interpreted it wrong? He probably didn't meant it like.. literally.'' Crowley sighed. ''Have I been to harsh on him?''

''Well, the way I see it, he might as well be some kind of creepy stalker who wants to take advantage of your situation.''

The demon looked at him in shock. ''Nah c'mon that's a little far-fetched, don't you think?''

''You said it yourself, Anthony. He acted like he knew everything about you, but you can't even remember him? Doesn't sound right, does it?''

Crowley considered his words. _But he seemed so nice.. He can't be that dangerous, can he?_

''I'll fetch us a bottle of water if you don't mind. All this talking is making me thirsty.'', Gabriel pointed at a vending machine across the street. ''I'll be right back.''

''Uhm.. yeah sure, I'll wait here.''

As Gabriel walked off, Crowley took a few slow steps back into the park.

He looked up into the night sky, watching the stars and letting his mind wander around them. His eyes fell close and familiar warmth filled his heart as he tried to imagine all the beautifully coloured galaxies, floating around in space. The seemed so close and yet so far away.

As Crowley opened his eyes, clouds had blocked his view.

''Please, don't hide from me..'', the demon whispered towards the overcast sky, reaching up with one arm as if he was trying to get hold onto a star, ''Take me with you.''

The demon closed his eyes again, imagining to just lift off into infinity.

He sighed as he put his arm down again, ''Ugh, I must look so fucking stupid right now..''

The sound of a small branch cracking, made him turn around and starring into the darkness.

''Hello..?'',Crowley asked carefully.

But he got no answer.

_Something doesn't seems right.._

''There you are!'', he jumped a little as he felt a hand appear on his shoulder.

''Gabe! You scared me!''

Gabriel laughed, ''Do I look that scary to you?''

''No! No it.. it's just.. I thought I heard something..''

''Probably nothing,'' the 'angel' shrugged, ''are you ok?''

''Yeah, 'm fine.. It was a rough day for me, that's all.. Guess I'm just overcautious..'' Crowley said, while still looking into the darkness of the park.

''Maybe you should drink something non-alcoholic then.'', Gabriel handed him a bottle of water.

There was no label of any kind on the bottle, but Crowley shrugged it of, taking it with a smile on his face.

''Yeah, might me good for a start. Cheers!''

But before Crowley could take a sip, the bottle was slapped from his hands.

''Oi! What the fuck?!''

He looked up to see Aziraphale standing in front of him, seemingly breathless.

''Oh for fucks sake! What are you doing here? Have.. have you been following me?!''

The Angel put up his hands up in an apologetic gesture, ''Crowley! I am so sorry, but I just couldn't allow for you to get killed!''

Crowleys look was a mixture of confused, angry and annoyed.

He sighed and turned to Gabriel, ''May I introduce you? Gabe meet A..ziraphale. Aziraphale meet Gabe.''

Aziraphale shot the other angel a daring look, before facing Crowley again.

He took a deep breath,''Crowley you don't know who you are accompanying with. He is dangerous! He just tried to kill you!''

The demon looked down to the now empty bottle on the ground, giving it a small kick.

''With water?''

''Yes! Well, not just water..''

''Gabe! Did you meant to drown me in this bottle?'', he asked with a teasing voice.

Gabriel shot his hands up as in surrender, laughing ''Ha! You got me!''

Crowley wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, ''That was a close one! Thank you! You really are my guardian angel!''

Aziraphales look was so desperate. He grabbed the demons arms, almost yanking at him, to make Crowley listen.

''You don't understand! He blessed it when you weren't looking! It was holy water!'', he was almost crying right now.

''Oooh because I'm a.. demon.. right?''

Aziraphale nodded, not noticing the sarcastic tone.

''And let me guess..'', Crowley pointed back at Gabriel, ''He's the Archangel 'fucking' Gabriel then?''

The angel behind him let out a snort.

''Yes! Exactly! You need to come with me! Please! I'm begging you!''

''And I'm begging you to leave me alone!'',the demon yanked himself free from the soft but firm grip, ''I've had enough of this bullshit! Good-by Aziraphale.''

''No.. please don't..'', Zira stumbled a few steps after Crowley as he took his leave, before realising that it was useless.

Gabriel winked at Aziraphale, with a pleased smirk on his face, as he followed the demon out of the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapters are on the way! 
> 
> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some action!
> 
> TW for graphic violence in this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''Can you believe this?'', Crowley asked, still angry about what just had happened.

''Some humans are just unbearable.'', Gabriel answered with a shrug.

It was still dark and the usually busy streets of Soho seemed almost abandoned.

''But you don't actually believe him, do you?''

''No.. I..,'' the demon sighed, '' 'm not sure what to believe, to be honest. It doesn't make any sense.''

They kept on walking until they found themself in square garden. Gabriel stopped and put a hand on Crowleys shoulder.

''I might have an idea.'', he began to say. ''You could not only prove to that crazy bookseller, but even to yourself that you are not what he says you are.''

''I'm listening.''

''Do you see that red building over there?'', he pointed across the garden. ''That's a church.''

Crowley looked at him confused, raising an eyebrow. ''Which means?''

''That dude.. what was his name again?''

''A..ziraphale.''

''Yes! He was all crazy about holy water, right?''

''Yeah..?''

''Well, we could go in there and drop some holy water right on you.''

Crowleys mouth fell open.

''You mean like.. baptising me?''

''It's not really baptising. Just a few drops to prove your point. Although a 'demon' shouldn't be able to walk freely into a church in the first place. So? What do you say?''

The demon looked sceptical between Gabriel and the church, ''I.. I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I can't even remember ever being in a church before.. We shouldn't..'', but Gabe interrupted him.

''Come on, it's a matter of maybe two minutes. We go in, you touch it, we go out. No big deal!''

Crowley still wasn't convinced, but finally agreed. ''Ugh.. yeah sure.. let's go get this over with.''

*****

  
  


Aziraphale sat himself on a bench. Not just any bench. Their bench.

He let his face fall inside his hands, sobbing.

''What am I doing?'', he asked himself.

The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming.

''All I want.. is to keep him safe.. But I feel like, I'm hurting him even more... Gabriel is up to no good, I just know it! But..'', Aziraphale paused, taking a deep breath, ''maybe.. I should leave Crowley alone.. Give him some time..''

He sighed.

''Maybe Gabriel blessed the water on purpose, because he knew I was watching and would notice?''

Hot tears streamed down his face as he looked up into the sky.

''Please..'', he whispered, hoping that She might listen to him, ''please tell me.. what should I do?''

But he got no answer.

  
  


***

  
  


Crowley stopped before the main entrance.

''I don't think that's a good idea.''

''Why?'', Gabriel asked him.

''Dunno it just.. doesn't feel right.''

''What? You don't actually believe this freak, do you?'', his company teased him.

''No!'', this came out more sharp than the demon intended to.

''Ok so if you really don't believe him, go on and touch the door. A demon shouldn't be able to do that.''

Crowley swallowed.

He looked up at Gabriel, than back to the door before slowly raising his hand.

He flinched at the touch, but besides a little bit of warmth, it felt normal. Releasing a deep breath, which Crowley didn't even noticed he was holding, he pushed the door open to step inside.

At the entrance to the nave were two angel statues, both holding a bowl filled with holy water.

Crowley walked past them, to gaze at the interior of the church.

The walls were white with golden ornaments. A blue ceiling projected above him and the altar was surrounded with golden walls. He was fascinated by the pure beauty of this place, his mouth wide open in astonishment.

_Do all churches have a heated floor?_, he wondered to himself.

Gabriel was standing between the two angels with an impatient look on his face.

''Let's get this over with, shall we?'', he asked, his hands directing towards the holy water.

''Oh I don't think this will be necessary.'' , Crowley answered, turning his back to Gabriel.

''I beg your pardon?'', his voice got increasingly more demanding.

''You said it yourself. If I was, in fact, a demon, I wouldn't even be able to stand right here.''

The 'angel' let both of this hands sink inside the water before making his way towards Crowley. His eyes shining fierce with fury.

''Who do you think you are?'', Gabriel yelled at the demon who turned around to face him.

''Excuse me?'', he asked confused before noticing that something didn't seemed right.

The warmth of the floor began suddenly to rise up, almost burning. Crowley hissed in pain, as blisters began to form on his sole. Grabbing a pew to steady himself he felt another pain on his hand, quickly pulling back. As he looked at it in shock, he noticed his palm was now burned as well. It felt like laying his hand on a hot plate.

Gabriel was now standing right in front of him, ''You filthy serpent. You still don't know where your place is, don't you?''

Before Crowley could react, Gabriel slapped him with the back of his hand, leaving a dirty wound on the demons cheek, sending Crowley on the floor, screaming in pain.

Gabriel stroke the demon again and again, kicking his ribs, before he walked back towards the holy water.

_What is going on here?! Everything is burning! I need to get out of here! _

Crowley crawled between the pews, trying not to hiss in pain as the consecrated floor burned his arms and legs.

Gabriel had formed a cup with his hands, taking a handful of holy water. He looked around in search for Crowley, going back into the interior.

''You can't hide from me you foul demon.'', his words echoed through the building but Crowley tried to be as silent as possible, slowly making his way towards the door.

''Get out now and it will be over within seconds..''

A door fell shut behind him an Gabriel quickly rushed towards it.

Outside, the injured demon pressed himself against the door to keep it shut, hearing Gabriels footsteps approaching from inside.

It had started to rain and he could hardly see anything, his vision blurry from the pain and strands of hair soaking wet, falling in his face.

There was pounding on the door, but Crowley tried to keep it closed.

''Aziraphale.. I'm so sorry.. please.. 'm sorry..''

The pounding stopped and the footsteps seemed to get farther away.

The demon turned away from the door, walking slowly backwards.

Suddenly a wave of pure energy slammed the door open, sending Crowley to the floor.

The demon tried to get up again, but his legs trembled and he felt a sudden dizziness rush over him.

Gabriel stepped out of the church, marching his way towards Crowley, the holy water, miraculously, still in his hand. Not a single drop of rain seemed to touch him.

''Aziraphale.. please forgive me..''

Gabriel was about to strike, and the demon closed his eyes, trying to shield himself from what was about to come.

The 'angel' tossed the holy water towards Crowley and before he knew what was happening, everything went white..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale takes the wounded demon back to his flat to treat his injuries..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here! have some fluff (and some pain and some angst..)!  
Enjoy!
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley opened his eyes.

He was laying on his back, surrounded by grass, looking up into the sky.

The rain was still falling but not a single drop seemed to touch him.

_What's happening?_

He frowned as he tried do sit up, supporting his weight on his elbows, feeling the burning pain again.

Crowleys mouth dropped open in awe as he noticed a pair of beautiful white wings slightly above his head.

''Aziraphale..'', he whispered to himself as he watched what was happening.

The Angel had his back towards Crowley, his wings shielding the wounded demon, facing Gabriel with a flaming sword in hand.

_''I gave it away..'' _

_''You what?'' _

_''I gave it away!''_

There were these voices again but Crowley couldn't make sense of it, now less than ever.

''Gabriel!'', Aziraphale spoke, ''Enough of this!''

The Archangel just laughed.

_The Archangel Gabriel??_

''You've had your fun! Now leave this instant!''

Although Ziras voice was daunting, Crowley thought that he never felt more safe.

''It will end sooner or later, Aziraphale. All this,'' Gabriel gestured at the angel and demon pair,''won't last forever. You'll see.''

An evil grin formed on his face as he looked towards Crowley, before vanishing in a beam of light.

Aziraphale let out a sigh and let his sword miraculously disappear.

''Angel..'', it was nothing more than a whisper, but Zira turned around at once, looking hopefully at the wounded demon.

''You.. you're an angel..''

And just like that, the look turned into worry.

Crowley starred at the Angel with big eyes, like a child seeing a lit up christmas tree for the first time, his shades long gone.

Aziraphale kneeled before him, reaching his hand up to hold onto the not wounded cheek, the other one still bleeding. But Crowley didn't flinch, instead leaning into his hand.

''Crowley are you alright? Can you walk?''

The demon didn't answered, he just starred at the angel in awe.

Aziraphale took Crowleys hands and looked at them, noticing the burned and blistered palms.

''Oh dear..'', he sighed. ''Let's get you home, shall we?''

The demon nodded.

He placed one arm around his neck and lifted Crowley up.

''We do need to fly, I am afraid.'', Aziraphale said in a calming voice, catching Crowleys worried face as he looked at his wings behind his back. ''Don't worry'', he assured him, ''I won't let you fall.''

The demon pushed himself closer to Ziras body and nodded. And with that, the Angel spread his wings and took off into the night sky.

  
  


*****

  
  


It started to dawn as they made their way to Crowleys flat. The skies colour changing from black to dark blue, then to red.

Most of London was still asleep. It looked so peaceful from above, but Crowley paid that no mind as he watched Aziraphales face closely, almost dozing off in his arms.

''There we are!'', the angel announced.

One big window in Crowleys flat threw open and Aziraphale stepped carefully inside.

''We need to take care of your injuries.'', he said as he placed Crowley on the black satin sheets on his bed.

''Ehm.. I.. need to.. if.. if it's ok but.. I need to make sure..'', the angel stammered but Crowley understood, starting to unbutton his shirt.

''Ngh!'', he hissed as his blistered hands tried to work.

''Oh dear.. please, let me..'', and the demon nodded.

Aziraphales hands were shaking as he got rid of Crowleys shirt.

He swallowed.

Crowleys body was laced with bruises and burns.

''Oh dear god..'', the demon flinched at his words. ''Oh right. I'm sorry. Not the best choice of words at the moment, I assume.'', he forced a smile on his face and was pleased to see that Crowley answered him with a crooked one.

''May I?'', Aziraphale asked before he put his hands on Crowleys ribs, letting his healing power flow into the demon, who led out almost a purr in release as the bruises slowly vanished.

The angel healed the wounded cheek next; touching it so carefully, it felt like a feather was stroking his face.

_Why?,_ the demon thought to himself_, Why don't I remember you?_ It broke his heart.

''What about your feet?''

''I think that's were it's the worst.. 's still burning pretty bad..'', Crowley turned his face away in shame.

_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! The angel tried to warn me and what did I do? I laughed at his face! He should just leave me in pain!_

Aziraphale must have felt troubled mind because he carefully lifted Crowleys chin up to look him in the eyes.

''None of this is your fault.'', he said with a soft smile. ''I'm glade that I'm able to help you now.''

''Why did you come back for me?'', the demon asked with tear-filled eyes. ''I was an asshole but still.. you came back for me.. Why?''

Aziraphale wiped a tear away with his thumb, as he hold Crowleys face in his hand.

''I heard you as you called for me. You needed my help and I heard you.''

''But you could have just leave me back there to die and yet..''

''Crowley, dear..'', he said with a soft voice, ''I would never hurt you. Nor let anyone else harm you. I am sorry that I wasn't there sooner..''

''Don't apologise.. Please.. I screamed at you, told you to fuck off.. but still..'', Crowley didn't know when he had started sobbing. ''I am so sorry.. For everything.. Please.. Forgive me.. But I'd understand if you don't..''

''Sshhh..'', Aziraphale hushed him, ''There is nothing to forgive, my dear.''

And with those words said, Crowley fell forward, hugging Aziraphale; holding him tight.

The angel embracing him as well, holding him even tighter as if he was afraid that Crowley would disappear in any moment.

They stayed like that for a few moments, just holding each other close. Neither of them wanted to end this beautiful moment but Crowleys injuries were still too present, forcing him to hiss in pain.

''Sssorry'', the demon said as he broke off the hug.

''Don't be. Let's take a look at your feet, shall we?''

Aziraphale tried with as much care as possible to pull off one shoe, but just the simple touch was enough to let the demon faint. The pain was too much to bare.

The angel miracled the shoes and socks away to take a better look. He felt almost like fainting as well as he saw the bloody blisters.

''Oh dear..'', he mumbled to himself, ''Was it like this last time as well?''

''Can't remember to be honest..'', Crowley said weakly, ''And that's probably the first and only thing I'm glad not to remember.''

A crooked smile formed on his face but it quickly vanished as the pain returned, leaving the demon falling back onto the bed, moaning in agony.

''It seems to get up all the way on your leg..'', the angel said as he took a closer look. ''I think we need to..''

''Yeah sure go on with it'', Crowley interrupted, waving his hand, ''But please.. Just leave my panties on.''

Aziraphale smiled at that and with a snap of his fingers, the tight black jeans were gone. The angel gasped at the sight.

''Don't tell me! I don't wanna know.''

The blisters almost went up all the way to his knees. His feet and legs looked like someone put them into a fryer. It smelled like sulphur, copper.. and death.

''I'm sorry but this is going to hurt.. Are you ready?''

'' 'was born ready.'', Crowley said, biting his lip.

''I'm sorry.. I'll do it as fast as I can!''

''Just go on with it.. please..''

Both braced themselves. This was going to be ugly.

As Aziraphale touched his feet, Crowley screamed in pain. His cries were heartbreaking but the angel had to stay focused.

Although it was over in 3 minutes, it felt like an eternity for both of them.

Right after the angel finished his healing, he collapsed onto the floor. This has been too much healing, too much energy in just too little time.

Crowley threw himself off the bed and onto the floor next to the exhausted angel.

''Aziraphale? Aziraphale can you hear me? C'mon! Wake up!'', the panicked demon shouted it fear, but the angel stayed motionless.

''Fuck! Why aren't you breathing?? Do angels need to breath?! Fuckfuckfuckfuck Aziraphale wake up! Please wake up!''

Crowley lifted Zira up and onto the bed, jumping on it as well, hovering over the (seemingly) lifeless body. He put his hands on Aziraphales chest, desperately searching for a heartbeat; but the body beneath him stayed still.

''No.. please don't be..'' Crowley let on hand placed above Ziras heart, stroking his white curls softly with the other.

''This is all my fault..'', he whispered to himself, hot tears streaming down his face.

He placed his forehead to Aziraphales, sobbing while still stroking his hair.

''Please.. I am so sorry..''

And unnoticed by the demon, the angel underneath him started slowly opening his eyes again..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, have some fluff! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

The feeling of dizziness was still present, as Aziraphale opened his eyes.

_Have I been sleeping?_, he wondered to himself.

The angel usually never slept. At least not like Crowley did.

He remembered, a few centuries ago when the demon slept, well, for almost a century.

Angels and demons don't have to sleep, but Crowley was rather fond of it.

_Crowley!_

The thought of his wounded demon put him back on track and he finally noticed a hand, which was carefully stroking his hair and tears, which weren't his own, dripping onto his cheek.

''Crowley?'',the demon lifted his head up in a flash, starring down on Aziraphale. ''Is everything alright? Are you still in pain?'', the angel asked with a worried voice.

''Am I.. are you kidding me?!''

_Oh no what have I done? Did I hurt him even more? Made his wounds worse?_

Aziraphale could see tears appearing in Crowleys eyes as he sat up on the bed slowly. Before he even had a chance to react, the demon wrapped his arms around the angel, holding him tight.

''I thought you were dead!'', his voice was a mix of crying and laughing.

Zira returned the hug, ''Why would you think that, my dear?'', he asked, patting the demons back in a calming way.

Crowley pushed himself far enough away to catch the angels eyes, taking his hands into his own.

''I.. er.. You..'', he tried to explain, ''You healed me and dropped dead like a fly! I couldn't feel your heart! You weren't responding to anything! I thought I killed you!''

_Oh dear, I must have passed out.._

''I.. I am deeply sorry, my dear. I didn't mean to..'', he sighed, ''I must have exhausted myself over the last few weeks..''

''Weeks?'', Crowley asked curious.

''Well I.. _Please don't be angry at me again.._ As you might know now, you have been in a pretty bad condition.''

The demon nodded.

Aziraphale swallowed, ''I had to keep you asleep for two weeks.''

Crowleys mouth fell open, ''Two weeks?''

The angel bit his lip, his gaze falling down on the bed.

Was it shame? Fear? He couldn't tell what that horrible feeling inside of him was, but it was devouring him.

Suddenly, his face was cupped into two cold hands, carefully lifting it up to make eye contact.

''Zira.. you did _all_ this, for.. and I.. I just shouted at you.. I don't know if you'll ever be able to forgive me, but'', the Angel looked at Crowley with glassy eyes, ''if you do, I'll promise.. no. I'll _swear_ to you that, whatever happens, I will stand by your side, not matter what.''

Aziraphale felt a soft smile appearing on his face.

''I know, there is still a lot to do.. but I won't let you down again. We can make this '', Crowley gestured between them, ''I want to make this work.. again. My mind might be playing tricks on me.. but my heart.. I dunno, I know it sounds soppy, but my heart tells me that _this_ is what it's supposed to be! I can feel it!''

The angel released a deep breath he didn't know he was holding. It was the feeling of relief which was just too overwhelming for him, tears of joy running down his face.

Aziraphale leaned into Crowleys soft touch, closing his eyes. And just like that, a tender kiss was pressed onto his lips.

The angel didn't open his eyes, afraid that this might be just a dream; but instead, he reached up to Crowleys face as well, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

A soft hum, almost like a purr, was breathed into his mouth. Although their lips opened slightly, they didn't made use of their tongues. No, this was no kiss of lust, but instead, a kiss of strong affection.

After a few moments of caresses, their lips parted, but they leaned on each others foreheads, their faces still cupped from one another.

They didn't need to talk, they just remained like this in silence, enjoying the closeness of each other.

After a while, Crowley said with a smile on his face '' Sorry.. that was rather.. impulsive.''

Aziraphale giggled, ''And quite lovely if I may say so.''

Both chuckled.

They slowly parted, looking into each others eyes. Crowleys appeared to be almost golden in the sunlight, which shined through the window, onto them.

The demon frowned but appeared to be in a sudden rush, ''Oh! I.. I'm sorry but apparently I am a terrible host. You are clearly exhausted and I keep you here..'', his eyes fell around the room, ''Are you hungry? I'll get us something!''

Aziraphale smiled. ''Oh no please, you don't have to..'', but Crowley was already jumping off the bed, dressing himself.

''Oh I _do_ have to! You gave so much already so this is the least I could do!'', he went around the bed to the side on which Aziraphale was seated. ''Just.. relax ok? Make yourself at home.''

_My dear, it is such a delight to see you like this again. I love you so very much._

Crowley leaned down to press a soft kiss on Ziras cheek, stroking the other one smoothly.

''Wait here, I'll be back in a flash. I promise!''

The angel nodded, beaming with joy.

''Be right back!'', Crowley shouted one last time, before vanishing through the door.

_He will be fine, don't worry_, he told himself, lifting his hand up to his cheeks, remembering the lovely touch just a few moments ago.

_This might work after all._

The angel felt like a teenage girl with a big crush on someone as he lay down again on the bed, waiting patiently for Crowley to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley is prepairing lunch for Aziraphale and the angel has a terrible nightmare..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** TW for angst and violence.. **
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley came back to his flat about 30 minutes later, packed with two shopping bags.

He placed his purchase on the kitchen counter and went to check on Aziraphale to announce his return; as he noticed the sound of soft dozing from the bedroom.

The angel hadn't moved an inch since Crowley left.

Standing in the doorway, Crowley couldn't put his eyes of Aziraphale.

_He looks so peaceful_, the demon thought to himself, _I cannot believe, there's an actual angel sleeping in my bed._

A gentle smile formed on his face.

_And although I don't remember our previous time together_, Crowley bit his lip, _I would still do anything to keep you safe with me._

He closed the door as slowly and silent as possible and headed back to the kitchen to prepare their lunch.

The bags were emptied and (poorly) sorted.

''Great!'', Crowley told himself as he looked at the (already) mess in his kitchen, ''Now what?''

He shrug, lifted his hands for a second, than let them fall again in a gesture of defeat.

_Did I ever cook?_, the demon asked himself.

Sighing deeply, Crowley took some kitchenware and started cracking eggs.

''Can't be that hard..''

****

Aziraphale found himself in his bookshop, sitting in his favourite armchair, reading 'Hamlet'.

It was a nice day, the sun was shining and he could hear kids giggling on the street.

The bell above the door ringed, announcing a new customer.

''I'll be right there!'',he called in the shop, carefully closing his book.

He felt jolly good, as some might would say.

Stepping into the shop, the angel looked around, searching for the person who had just entered.

Something seemed off. The sun was still shining, but there was no-one on the street.

It was quite. Too quite for Soho, especially at this hour.

The sudden sound of something rattling behind him, made him jump.

_Sounds like.. chains.. heavy chains.._

''Angel..'', a soft voice called him.

As Aziraphale turned around, his face got pale and his hands started to shake.

''Crowley?''

The demon was on his knees, naked, bowing, his face looking down on the floor.

His body was covered in bruises and cuts, his arms lay left and right , tied down on the floor with heavy chains, his wings out but twisted and broken.

''Why did you do this to me, Aziraphale?'', the broken creature whimpered.

''No.. No I didn't do anything! Please, Crowley! Please no!'', the angel tried to move, but his legs were stiff.

''Why do you hate me so bad, angel? Why didn't you just smite me back then on the wall of Eden? Why angel? Why?'', Crowley was still facing the floor and Aziraphale could feel hot tears streaming down his face.

He sobbed, ''No Crowley! I would never! I love you! Please look at me! I didn't do anything to you! Please!'',he was screaming and fighting to move forward but it just wouldn't work.

''Crowley, dear, please look at me! I love you!''

Crowleys head moved slowly upwards, but as the angel saw his face, he almost screamed in terror.

''No..No! No! What have they done to you Crowley? Your eyes.. your beautiful eyes..''

Two black holes.. Two black holes, where his eyes should be.

''Why did you let this happen to me, angel?''

Aziraphale was almost choking on his sobs as he fell to his knees.

_This cannot be real! Please, god, please!_

''Oh this is very real, Aziraphale.'', his eyes shot up at Gabriel, standing behind Crowley, lifting a flaming sword.

The angel tried to scream, but no sound came out of his mouth.

Crowley was still starring at him with his non existing eyes.

Gabriel moved his sword next to Crowleys neck.

''This ends now.'', he said monotonously.

Aziraphale watched in horror, as the archangel struck down at Crowleys throat.

*****

Breathless, the angel awoke on Crowleys bed, tears still streaming down his face.

He sat up quickly, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

''It was a dream..'', he whispered to himself, ''No.. this was a nightmare..''

Aziraphale took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

_I don't understand what Crowley finds so nice about sleeping.._ (It was no secret that the demon loves to sleep. He overslept almost a whole century. Aziraphale on the other hand, had no interest in such a thing. At least, not as often and long as Crowley likes to. The fear of missing something out was just to strong for the angel.)

The sudden sound of clashing kitchenware followed by a ''Oh for fucks sake!'' led him towards the bedroom door.

He smiled to himself before reaching for the door handle.

_It was just a nightmare.. don't worry about it. Everything is fine.._

As he went outside the sweet smell of sugar and cinnamon hit him, making his mouth water in an instant.

Walking into the kitchen, he couldn't help but giggle at the sight.

Crowley was standing in front of the cooker, shaking a frying pan back and forth. His face and hair was covered in flour, some white handprints placed all around his shirt where he touched himself either to wipe his hands or just for support.

The kitchen itself was a mess. Broken eggshells found their way to the floor, a still slightly smoking pan was placed into the washbasin with just a towel simply thrown over it and pastry was sticking on the ceiling.

''May I help you with something?'', Aziraphale asked, trying to keep his laughter to himself.

Crowley turned around in surprise, ''Oh hi! You're awake! Feeling any better?''

Aziraphale bit his lip, trying not to remember his recent nightmare.

''Jolly good.'', was his answer as he smiled at the demon, ''What are you doing?''

''Well what does it look like, I'm doing?''

_A mess?_

''I'm cooking!'', Crowley looked at him with a pleased smile on his face, which vanished quickly as the towel burst into flames behind him.

''Ah shit not again!'', the demon hissed as he tried to keep the frying pan in one hand and turning the water on in the washbasin on with another, almost slipping on a broken egg on the floor.

Aziraphale couldn't hold it in any longer and started to laugh so cheerfully, he almost fell himself.

''Oooh I get it,'' Crowley said with raised eyebrows and also a big smile on his face, ''you think it's funny, don't you?''

''I'm so sorry, my dear, but it's just..'', he broke of laughing again, ''look at yourself!''

And Crowley did and noticed that he was covered in flour and all sticky from the pastry, giggling to himself and then at Aziraphale, who was holding his tummy as it already ached from laughter.

''Oh yeah? But what about you?'', he asked teasingly. ''You have flour all over you as well!''

''What do you mean?'',the angel asked, wiping away his tears; but just as he made an effort to look up, a handful of flour was thrown at his face.

Now it was Crowleys turn to laugh hysterically.

Aziraphale opened his mouth in shock, forming a perfect 'O', while he wiped his eyes clean.

''Oh my dear boy, you shouldn't have done this..'', he said with a warning voice.

''What'cha gonna do, oh you angel, made of love and compassion?'', Crowley teased with a big smirk on his face.

Aziraphale rose to his feet, tugging at his waistcoat, then lifting his right hand up, ready to snip.

''You will now feel the wrath of the principality of the eastern gate!''

The demon swallowed, looking slightly precariously, asking himself if he had gone too far.

Aziraphale pointed up with one finger and as Crowley slowly looked up at the ceiling a snap echoed through the kitchen.

The demon closed his eyes right as a flour sack appeared above his head and emptied itself all over him, leaving Crowley standing all in white, like a powdered donut.

After a few seconds of silence the demon just said, ''Really?''

''Really.'', Aziraphale simply answered.

They locked eyes, both having an almost perfect poker face.

The angel was the first to smile and Crowley followed shortly after.

Now both where laughing again.

If anyone could have heard them, they would have know that this laughter was truly genuine.

''Ok and who cleans up this mess now?'', Crowley asked with a raised eyebrow, gesturing all around himself.

And with a snap of Ziras fingers, the kitchen was clean again. The flour was gone, and even the pastry on the ceiling vanished.

Aziraphale was now also as clean as ever but he left Crowley still covered in the white powder, just for the fun of it.

The demon looked at himself, and then back at Aziraphale as he began to say teasingly, ''Oh I see you desire for a hug right now!''

His arms wide spread, Crowley made his way to embrace the angel. Aziraphale laughed and just as the demon was close enough to reach him, he snapped his fingers, leaving Crowley all cleaned up.

The demon hugged him anyway, whispering ''Coward'' into the angels ear, who simply just giggled as he held the demon tight in his arms.

As Crowley made his way back to the kitchen counter Aziraphale asked, ''Can I help you with anything?''

''No need to, it's already finished.''

The angel seated himself at the dining table, watching the demon work.

''I do hope you like it..'', Crowley mumbled under his breath.

''Oh I do am certain about it. I'm not picky.'', Aziraphale smiled, ''What did you cook, my dear?''

''Crêpes.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here, have one chapter earlier because.. christmas n stuff x)  
happy holidays to all of you <3
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley took much effort into cooking for Aziraphale.

Carefully, he filled the crêpes with chocolate spread and mixed berries, topping them with a soft coat of icing sugar, mixed with a hint of cinnamon, and a spoon-full of whipped cream.

As Crowley placed the appetising looking plate in front of the angel he was pleased to see Aziraphales eyes lit up in astonishment.

''Crowley..'', the angel said in awe,''you really didn't need to do that. This looks lovely, my dear.''

The demon smiled, ''Well it's the least I could do to thank you. I do hope they taste at least a quarter as good as they look.'' He could feel his cheeks blushing. ''Would you like some white wine to swallow it down with?''

Aziraphale chuckled, ''Stop being so downgrading towards yourself. I appreciate your effort very much, my dear boy. And thank you, some wine would make it perfect.''

Crowley couldn't help but smile as he brought two filled glasses to the dining table, seating himself next to the angel without a plate for himself.

''Aren't you eating?'', Aziraphale asked with a frown.

''No, I made them for you. And besides, I know what they're made of.'', he answered with a teasing voice.

As the angel continued to stare at Crowley, he assured him ''It's ok. I'm not hungry at all. Please..'', he gestured towards the crêpes,''..just enjoy them. I really want to know what you think of them.''

The slightly displeased look on Aziraphales face vanished as soon as his eyes fell on the plate before him.

A perfectly satisfied hum escaped the angels mouth as he took the first bite and Crowley couldn't take his eyes from the pleasuring sight next to him. Aziraphale has closed his eyes as he chewed with care, his taste buds seemingly enjoying every last bit of it.

_Might have finally done at least one thing right_, the demon thought to himself.

''I presume you like it?'', he asked with a grin.

''My dear..'', Aziraphale began,''..it's scrumptious! You've outdone yourself.''

''Glade you enjoy it. I wasn't sure about what you'd like.. I wasn't even sure if you'd eat at all!''

A heartfelt laugh filled the room.

''My dear, I almost got discorporated for crêpes so you absolutely hit the mark with your guess.''

Crowley mouth fell open in shock but he laughed anyway, ''You what?''

''It was during the french revolution.. but i had my reasons!''

''Oh I get your point.. Crêpes. What better reason would there be?''

An yet another heart filled laughter filled the room.

The angel and demon pair continued with their talking and joy until late at night when the crêpes had been eaten, and the wine had been drained.

  
  


*****

  
  


''May I ask you something?'', Crowley asked cautiously, wringing his hands.

''Anything, my dear.''

''Was.. have I..'', he started to say, his eyes fixed on the floor, ''Have I've been an angel once? Or was I just 'born' a demon?''

As Crowley looked up at Aziraphale, the angel could see the anxiety in his eyes.

He didn't realise that he was holding his breath while starring at Crowley, until the demon spoke again, ''It's ok if you don't know, or don't want to tell me. This day had been so nice.. Sorry that I ruined it..''

Crowleys face was painted with guilt so Aziraphale didn't hesitate to move closer to the demon, taking his hand.

''No please don't apologise! You didn't ruin anything. It's just..'', the angel let out a sigh, ''It's not a pleasant topic to be honest.. But as I said earlier, you can ask me anything and I'll try to answer you as best as I can.'' He bit his lip but continued, ''You were created as an angel, like me.''

''Have we met back then?''

Crowley was beaming at him like a little child waiting for the best goodnight-story ever.

''We might have passed each other once or twice unknowingly..'', Aziraphale smiled at that thought. _What would have happened if we did?_ ''But our first encounter has been on the wall of Eden after you f..'', the angel stopped himself from talking, but it was already to late.

''After I.. turned into a demon.''

The angel nodded, ''..yes.''

''Did we ever.. talked about it? What happened? Why I switched sides?''

Zira thought for a moment, ''No I don't think we ever did, if I remember correctly. You never seemed comfortable with the topic.''

''And now I bring it up and make you uncomfortable with it. Nice doing, me!'', Crowley said jokingly while giving himself a pat on his shoulder.

The angel chuckled, ''Don't worry about it, my dear. It's highly understandable that you have a lot of questions still, and probably will have even more in the future.''

Crowley gave Aziraphales hand a squeeze, ''Thank you.''

''What for?''

They locked eyes and the angel was lost inside the beautiful serpent ones.

A sweet smile formed on the demons face as he spoke, ''For being so understanding. For being so nice and sweet even after I screamed at you. For being here.. with me..''

''Crowley.. I will always be with you.. I'd do anything for you, my love.''

Aziraphale didn't know who of them made the first move, and it didn't matter. All that mattered, was the feeling of their lips pressed against each other.

_Am I doing the right thing?_, the angel asked himself while placing his hand on Crowleys hip. _He doesn't remember me but.. he seems to want this too._

Cold hands cupped his face and the demon opened his mouth to invite Aziraphale inside, pulling him closer to lie on top of him. Crowley breathed a soft moan as their tongues met.

_I don't want him to think that I'm taking advantage of him.._

''Is something wrong?'', Crowley asked from underneath him. ''You seem to be lost in thought.''

''No! No not at all!''

''We don't have to do.. this'', the demon gestured between both of them, ''if you don't want to.''

''Oh no I _do_ want to! It's just..'', Aziraphale said, sitting up, frowning, ''You don't know me.. not very well.. at least at the moment.''

''But you _do_ know me, and as I said.. it feels.. right. To be here.. with you. I trust you.''

''I know you do.''

Crowley leaned into the touch as Aziraphale placed a hand on his cheek, smoothly stroking him with his thumb.

''Just trust me with this, my dear. I don't want to do anything you might regret later on.''

''Why would I regret..'', Crowley began to say but quickly hushed as he saw the concerned look on the angels face, ''Ok. Let's take it slow. I don't want to go to fast for you..''

The angel chuckled softly at those words.

''But.. would you like to spend the night? Here. With me? I don't want to be alone..''

Aziraphale gave Crowleys hand a squeeze.

''Of course, my dear.''

The demon placed a quick kiss on his cheek as he got up to change into his black satin pyjamas.

He turned back to the angel, ''Do you need a PJ or something? Maybe I have..'', but with a snap of his fingers, Aziraphale was dressed into a cream-coloured cotton nightgown of his own.

''I'll take that as a 'No'.'', Crowley said with a smirk, and the angel couldn't help but giggle. ''Pretty handy this 'snap' thingy.''

''It can be pretty useful at times.''

''Like when you need to empty a sack of flour on your opponents head?'', the demon asked teasingly and Aziraphale started to laugh.

As both beings got into bed, the angel opened his arms to invite Crowley to snuggle up against him, which the demon gladly did.

Crowley placed his head on Aziraphales chest, one arm around his waist and the angel hold him around his shoulders, stroking his hair with the other hand.

''Today was nice..'', Crowley said with a tired voice.

''It was indeed.'', the angel answered him. ''But you really need some rest now, my dear.''

''You too.. Goodnight Zira..'', the demon mumbled but fell asleep just right after.

Aziraphale placed a soft kiss on Crowleys temple, ''Sleep well, my dear..''

_I love you_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is quite short but don't worry: I'm already working on longer ones!
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

White. Everything was white. But it didn't seem threateningly. It felt rather.. loved.

_What is this place?_, Crowley thought to himself._ I've been here before.._

As he looked down on himself, he noticed his robe. It was all white with a golden snake-formed waist belt. His light auburn hair fell in curls over his shoulders and on his back rested a pair of beautiful white wings.

''Hello?'', he asked into the light. ''Is somebody there?''

Crowley got no answer.

Or at least not one he was hoping for.

There was screaming, a muffled sound, coming from the distance.

He made his way towards the sound.

His slow and careful steps soon gained speed until Crowley was running.

The screams getting louder and louder.

It wasn't just one voice he heard, no, this sounded like at least a hundred or even a thousand different voices crying out in despair and fury.

''Hello?! Please! Somebody!'', but still, nobody answered.

And just as the screaming seemed to be right in front of him, Crowley awoke.

  
  


*****

  
  


As Crowley opened his eyes, he was still in the same position as he were, when he had fallen asleep. Snuggled to the angel, his arms around him.

Shifting closer to Aziraphales chest, he took a deep breath, inhaling the sweet scent of the body laying underneath him.

A hand started to pet his hair and a soft kiss was placed on top of his head.

''Good morning, my dear. Did you sleep well?''

Aziraphales voice was so warm, soft and loving that Crowley almost drifted back to sleep immediately.

''Ngh..'', he pressed his face into Ziras soft belly and mumbled something into it.

''I am sorry, but I don't think I got that one.'', the angel chuckled.

Crowley sighed, ''Had a weird dream 's all..''

''Oh.. Do you want to talk about it?''

''No.. 't was nothing.. How did you sleep?''

''I didn't.''

The demon lifted himself up high enough to look into Aziraphales eyes.

''You didn't sleep? Was it because of me? I kinda took possession of you..'' , he asked with a furrowed brow.

''No! No, please don't worry about it. I usually don't sleep.''

Crowley blinked at him in confusion, his eyes still heavy with sleep.

''And why is that?''

''I, or, we don't require to sleep at all.''

''But.. you slept just yesterday? When I came home from shopping?''

The angel smiled, ''Well.. yes. But I was rather exhausted from previous events. And, I have to admit, almost every time, I tried to sleep, my dreams were rather.. unpleasantly.''

''Oh..'', Crowley answered, ''Yeah.. I get what you mean..''

''Are you ok, my dear?'', Aziraphale asked while cupping the demons cheek in his hand.

''Yeah 'm fine.. It's just.. ngh.. Do you think it's possible that I remember stuff.. in my dreams?''

The angel thought for a moment before answering, ''You might. Our subconscious mind works within our dreams. Or that's at least the case for humans. I do think it could be possible for you, to regain some of your memories while you sleep. What did you dream of, if I may ask?''

''I'm not sure..''; Crowley began but couldn't find the right words to say.

''Maybe you should write it down or even try drawing it. Everything you dream about. It might be of good use for you.''

''Hmm.. I guess you're right.. Might be a good idea.''

Both shared a smile until Crowley leant slightly forward to place a kiss on Aziraphales lips.

''Good morning, by the way.''

The angel chuckled, ''It's almost noon.''

Crowley shrugged, ''How long did I sleep?''

Aziraphale bit his lip before answering, ''About.. thirty-five hours.''

The demons mouth fell open, ''I beg your pardon?''

''Yes.''

''Thirty-five?'',he mouthed with his lips, and the angel just nodded silently. ''And you just lay there? For thirty-five hours? You could have moved me off of you!''

''Oh please don't worry about it. You needed to rest and I really don't mind at all. It wasn't the first time and most of the time you sleep even longer.''

Crowley was baffled, ''Well.. how long do I.. usually sleep?''

''Depending on your mood.. a few days, weeks..''

''Weeks?!''

''Your all-time record was for almost a century.''

''Are you serious?!''

Aziraphale nodded, his lips pressed into a thin line.

''Wow ok.. must have been in a pretty bad mood..''

''Yes.. best not talk about it.''

''Agreed.''

After a few moments of awkward silence Crowley clapped his hands, ''Would you like some lunch? I could cook for you if you'd like.''

''No, please don't.'', the angel chuckled.

Crowley raised an eyebrow, looking slightly offended.

''No! That's not what I meant, my dear! Your newly adopted cooking skills are quite marvellous! I was just wondering if you want to go out? It's been a while since we dined at the Ritz..'', but Aziraphales nervous chatter just made the demon laugh.

''Relax, please! I was just teasing!'', Crowley laid a calming hand on Aziraphales shoulder, which seemed to work immediately.

''So.. May I take you to dinner?'', the angel asked while taking Crowleys hand, placing soft kisses on his knuckles and enjoying the sight of the demon blushing.

''Yes you may, you old romantic.''

Both laughed for a moment before Crowley got up to take a quick shower..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Aziraphale was already fully dressed as Crowley strolled out of the bathroom, nothing but a black towel wrapped around his hips, his shoulder-length hair still wet from the shower.

''Why didn't you knock? I would have hurried up a bit.'', Crowley said with a hint of guilt in his voice, as he made his way towards his wardrobe.

The angel was too baffled and distracted by the beautiful sight in front of him, that he completely missed to answer.

A sudden clap of hands in front of him brought him back on tracks.

''Are you ok?'', the demon asked, looking slightly worried.

''Ah! I.. yes! Absolutely! I was.. I was just..'', Aziraphale blushed as he tried to find his words.

Now Crowley seemed to have understood what was going on, smirking at the angel.

''It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll be ready in a minute,'' the demon said, walking back to his wardrobe, sending a wink at Aziraphale over his shoulder.

''Oh ehm.. Zira? May I ask you something?'', Crowley asked carefully after a few moments of starring onto his various outfits.

''Of course, my dear.''

''Do I have a girlfriend? Or.. had?''

Aziraphales mouth fell open, baffled at the question.

''N... No and I don't think you've ever had.''

''Ok so maybe you can explain something to me.''

The angel swallowed, ''What is it?''

''Why do I own so many dresses?'', Crowley asked as he turned around, holding a short but elegant black dress in front of him.

Aziraphale released the breath, he didn't know he was holding and smiled at the slightly confused demon, ''They are yours, my dear.''

Crowleys eyes wandered from Aziraphale to the low-cut dress, then on his own chest.

''I don't think this would suit me very well..'', he said while touching his flat front.

The angel laughed, ''Oh this dress looks quite stunning on you, dear. You are a shapeshifter. And, I believe that's the term humans use nowadays, genderfluid. Quite literally.''

''So what you're saying is..''

''You have the ability to change your appearance.''

Crowley was stunned, but he didn't look frightened. It was pure amazement that sparkled in his eyes.

''Over our six millennia long journey, I saw you in quite a variety of shapes. Male, female, neither or even as a serpent.''

_Slow now..,_ the angel reminded himself. _This is a dangerous topic.._

''A serpent? Are.. Is this the reason why my eyes look like.. this?''

Aziraphale nodded, ''Yes, and I'm afraid that is the only thing you can't change about yourself.''

''Oh..'', Crowleys face saddened.

The angel rose to his feet walking towards the demon. He cupped his cheek and lifted his face up to look into his eyes.

''My dear, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. They are special, just like you. And I wouldn't change them even a bit. They are as stunning as you are, no matter what shape you choose for yourself. I,'' _love you_, Aziraphale was about to say, but he was glad Crowley interrupted him with a kiss.

_He must know.. but it's too soon to say it out loud._

''Are you always that soppy?'', the demon asked with a teasing smile as he broke the kiss. The angel laughed, ''Sometimes. But trust me, you are worse than me.''

Crowley made an offended face, but couldn't hide his smile.

''Oh I highly doubt that.''

''I could tell you a few examples if you like.''

''Please don't.''

  
  


****

  
  


The Ritz wasn't far from Crowleys flat, so both decided to take a walk there.

''So...'', Crowley began after a few minutes of strolling, ''Am I able to do magic stuff too?''

Aziraphale considered his words.

_Surely Crowley must still have some of his powers.. Why else would he have been that hurt in the church?_

''I do think that you still have them, my dear.'', he said after a while. ''We just have to find them.''

''What do you mean 'find them'?''

''We can try it right now, if you want to. Try to imagine something, anything, that comes to your mind. Imagine it right in front of you, and then reach inside yourself and make it real.''

''Ok..'', the demon answered sceptically.

He closed his eyes, trying to concentrate. Crowley stretched his arm out in front of him, palm up as if to catch something.

But nothing happened.

After 3 minutes he let his arm fall to his side again, sighing.

''What did you try do imagine?'', Aziraphale asked carefully.

''An apple. Can't even do something as simple as this.'', the demon growled.

''Oh, don't worry about it. You might just need some practice.''

''Sure..'' They continued their walk in silence.

After a few minutes Crowley spoke again, asking, ''But I'm not human now, am I?''

''I don't think so, my dear. The consecrated ground in the church did a lot of damage to you after all.''

''Yes.. I recall that..''

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..'', Aziraphale began but Crowley quickly shut him down.

'' 's fine.'', he said while forcing a smile on his face. ''I was just curious.''

The angel took his hand and gave it a tiny squeeze.

''We will work this out, I promise you.'', he tried to assure him.

Crowley opened his mouth as if to say something but then, everything happened within a flash.

There was a womans scream, the sound of tires screeching and the sight of a buggy flying through the air.

And the demon, was nowhere to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will probably be some delays with my upload-schedules.  
my mental health is acting up for a few weeks now and i can't promise on  
when the next uploads will be. i'm sorry and i'm trying my best <3
> 
> ***
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Everything was moving like in slow-motion.

It had been a rather nice day so far, but something seemed off.

Crowley was on edge. He knew Aziraphale was talking to him but he didn't make out his words. His heart was pounding loud and fast.

There was a woman on the other side of the street. She looked like she was in her mid thirtys, her brown hair in a messy bun, her eyes tired. Her whole body language just screamed 'exhausted'.

Walking by her side was a little girl, _probably her daughter_, of 3 years old, pushing her (way to big) bram proudly by herself.

The loud noise of a car going way too fast got closer and closer.

The mother and child stopped by a parking car, the woman rifling in her purse for the keys of the car.

Another woman came by, greeting her.

_Must be an old friend, by the looks of it._

While the talking continued, the little girl got obviously bored and started to move again.

The car came closer.

The mother was too distracted to realise that her daughter had already wandered a few metres away and was now turning to face the road.

The girl mustn't even noticed the danger she was getting herself into.

The car, a silver Volkswagen, screeched around the corner of the street. The man behind the wheel seemed angry and in distressed. Although Crowley couldn't possibly hear what he was saying, he could made out that he was obviously ranting about something or someone.

The buggy moved onto the road and right in front of the car. The man didn't even had time to hit the brakes.

Crowley raised his arm as if he was able to stop the vehicle by hand and screamed.

''NO!!''

And if time wasn't already moving way too slow (or so it seemed), it was now stopping completely.

The demon looked around, baffled by what was currently happening. He waved his hand in front of Aziraphales face, but he didn't seem to notice it. Everyone and everything was standing still.

Crowleys eyes fell back to the child.

She was now not even about a metre away from getting hit.

Slowly things began moving again so the demon had to act fast. He sprinted past Aziraphale and towards the little girl.

Time was moving on faster and faster and just as it went back to moving normally, he picked the girl up and jumped out of the way before getting hit himself.

Tires were screeching and the buggy was sent a few metres away.

''Eva!!'', the woman screamed as she noticed the flying pram belonged to her.

Crowley clutched the child tightly to his chest, his back pressed to a parked car. He was in shock.

The screams of the mother were heartbreaking.

The man got out of the car, clearly shocked as well, shouting ''I didn't see her!! I am so sorry I didn't see her!!''

Aziraphale was still on the other side but came up running to comfort the young mother.

''Where is she?!'', she yelled at the angel in desperation, almost collapsing in his arm as she grabbed onto his jacket.

Her eyes fell towards Crowley. ''Eva? Oh my god! Eva!''

She came running as fast as she could, wearing those heels.

''She's ok! It's ok!'', the demon tried to say, but he was still perplexed.

The mother took the child in her embrace, weeping tears of joy. She looked up at Crowley, pulling him into a hug as well, ''You are an angel, do you know that? You saved my little Eva. I won't ever forget that. You are an angel and I will pray for you. Thank you so very much!''

As she turned away from him other people came running towards her, looking at the child, the man in tears as well, still apologising.

The demon still hasn't moved as Aziraphale walked up to him. ''Crowley? Are you alright?'', he asked concerned as he lay his hand on Crowleys shoulder.

''I.. I..'',the demon stuttered, ''What just happened?''

''I believe you just saved the life of a little girl.'', Aziraphale smiled.

''But.. I.. How..?'' He couldn't think straight and was glad as the angel took his hand.

''Maybe we get some tea back at the bookshop, my dear?''

''Yes.. Sounds great..''

****

''You had one job..'', Gabriel began, fury burning in his eyes, ''What were you thinking?''

''I had my reasons.'', Hastur answered while casually leaning against a wet and dirty wall in the dark alley they chose to meet in.

''We agreed that at least _one_ of them has to die!''

''I know, I was there.''

''So? What happened?''

A crooked smile formed on Hasturs face as he was clearly enjoying the archangels distress. ''Why didn't you kill him yourself then? You had your chance as well and you wouldn't even know about it if it wasn't for me.''

Gabriel made a disgusted face, ''Get to the point, demon.''

''Something must have happened since the failed execution. Or sometime along the way.''

Now Hastur got the archangels curiosity.

''Keep going..''

''It's funny that you haven't figured it out yourself by now'', the duke of hell teased.

''I could still smite you here and now if you..''

''Ok.'', Hastur broke him off, ''Listen. Back then, when your good old friend Michael filled the tub with 'holy water'.. Crowley seemed way to casual, even for himself.''

Gabriel thought a moment to himself, ''Now that you mention it.. Aziraphale didn't bat an eye either as one of yours brought us the hellfire.''

''So..?'', Hastur asked him like some might would a child.

''They knew.'', the archangel said puzzled at the sudden realisation.

The demon nodded in agreement.

''They tricked us.. But.. how? How could they have possibly have known?''

''Someone must have told them.''

''Aziraphale has no friends in heaven. He was always kind of.. different.''

''The same is for Crowley.''

Both beings kept standing there for a few moments of thinking and silence.

''That's all well and good,'', Gabriel began again, ''but this still doesn't explain why you didn't just kill the demon.''

''Just kill him'', Hastur repeated with an evil grin on his face, ''where would be the fun in that? Now we can play a little with them. And besides, Crowley doesn't remember your precious little angel. I made sure of that.''

''Obviously you're not up to date. They have been spotted again. Together. Like nothing happened.''

''I don't think that's true..''

Gabriel shot the duke of hell an questioning look.

''There's still a lot of distrust in Crowley. He might just need a push in the right direction. If we're lucky enough, they might even destroy themselves in the end.''

''I hate to say this, but I like your thinking. We'll keep in touch and you continue keeping an eye on the demon.'', the archangel said before disappearing in a beam of light.

''You'd better watch your own back.'', Hastur mumbled to himself as he wandered off himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley felt already a lot calmer as he took the first sip of tea, but his hands were still shaking.

''How do you feel, my dear?'', Aziraphale asked with a worried voice.

''I.. I'm not sure.. What just happened?''

The demon must have looked completely lost because the angel was quick to wrap a soft blanket around his shoulders.

''You, my dear, just performed a miracle to safe the life of a child.''

''A miracle?'', Crowley asked confused. ''But I.. I am a.. demon.''

''Well, yes, but that does not mean that you can not use it. The 'magic' between angels and demons is pretty similar. Although angels can perform miracles which some demons might not and the other way around. And some demons can perform miracles, which other demons cannot. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?''

''Ehm..'', Crowley blinked at him, seemingly more confused than before. ''So what you're trying to say is.. I can do stuff you can't do?''

''Precisely.''

''Back then.. I don't know how but.. I think I.. stopped time.''

''That would have been my first guess. I've seen you perform this miracle once before. A few years ago, while we did our best to stop the apocalypse from happening.''

Crowleys mouth fell open in shock. ''We did what?''

Aziraphales primarily glad looking face, grow anxious within seconds. ''Oh.. Oh my.. I'm sorry, my dear. It wasn't my intension to overthrow you with this.. It's a long story, and we can continue it whenever you like.''

The angel was seemingly distressed so Crowley was quick to take Aziraphales shaking hand in his own. ''No, no it's fine. I would like to hear the whole story if you don't mind? Maybe.. it triggers something inside of me to help me remember.''

Now the angel was smiling again and Crowley couldn't help but to stare into his beautiful sky-blue eyes.

Both seated themselves comfortably on the couch and Aziraphale began tell their tale. He told the demon about everything. The failed delivery of the anti-christ, their shared custody at the Dowling residence and the panic-fuelled search for the real anti-christ. Aziraphale even told him about their argument and the burning bookshop. How they stood together against heaven and hell and even Satan himself. The part about their failed execution made Crowley laugh and the angel giggled with him.

''It's kinda weird..'', Crowley said after Aziraphale had finished speaking. ''Some names.. kinda tingle in my mind like.. I should know who these people are.. But it's like.. ngh.. I don't know how to explain it to be honest.''

The angel hugged him tightly and placed a kiss on the demons temple, ''It's ok, my dear. We will get behind this mess. I promise you.''

Crowley chuckled softly, ''Yeah I know..''

After a few moments of peaceful cuddling the demon sat himself up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. ''I think..'', he started mumbling to himself, ''I have a few of those people in my phone?''

''Oh I do think you do. They are all close friends to us nowadays.''

Crowley opened his contacts, holding the screen that Aziraphale had a good look on it too.

''The first one.. 'Angel'..''

Aziraphale swallowed.

''That's you, am I right?''

''Well, I most certainly think so.''

_Ha! I knew it!,_ the demon thought to himself and smiled.

'' 'Adam'.. That's the anti-christ, right? The real one I mean. Funny choice of name..''

''Indeed.'', the angel giggled.

'' 'Bookgirl'. That's the one that hit my car, I guess?''

''You hit her, but yes, that's Anathema''

'' 'Warlock'. The wrong anti-christ..'' Crowley thought for a moment, starring at the name. ''I should know him.. I know I should. It feels.. important.''

''He sure is. Especially for you, my dear. Your raised him, so to speak.''

''And the last one.. 'Shadwell'.. That's the guy who discorporated you right?''

''I don't think it was on purpose. It was an accident.''

''But you said, he still calls you a demon and points his.. finger at you?''

''Yes, well..'', Aziraphale stammered in a search for the proper words, ''He is.. one-of-a-kind.''

Crowley turned around to face the angel, eyebrows raised, ''You mean he's crazy.''

''Oh my dear, you have no idea.''

Both just started to laugh again, and enjoyed each others company. But after a while, the mood seemed to switch again.

''Zira?''

''Yes, my dear?''

''Would it be okay for you if I sleep at home tonight? Alone I mean?''

The angel swallowed. ''Why.. Well of course! I'm not holding you here. But may I ask.. Why?''

Crowley sighed, ''It's just.. It's been a lot.. today, I mean. I think I need some time to let it all sink, you know?''

Aziraphale forced a smile on his face, which the demon noticed at once.

''Of course, my dear.'', the angels voice was trembling with anxiety.

''I would like you to walk me home, if you don't mind? Last time I was alone outside, well..''

''No need to continue. It would be a pleasure to walk you home safely.''

Aziraphale was beaming again and so was Crowley as he looked at the angel. He wasn't scared to walk home alone but Aziraphale seemed to be, so this was a good compromise for both of them.

  
  


*****

  
  


They remained almost entirely silent on their walk to Crowleys flat.

While passing some cheerful drunks, Aziraphale kept a firm grip on the demons hand. Although the thought of leaving Crowley alone in his flat filled the angel with unease, he was still glad to at least get him there safe and sound.

''You don't need to worry so much, you know?''

''Hmm?'', Aziraphale was caught off guard , ''I'm sorry, my dear. I was just..''

''Lost in thought and concern.'', Crowley cut him off. ''There's no need. I'm just.. exhausted and need to sort my thoughts. And I won't talk to people I don't know and I won't get into the van even if there's candy inside.'' The demon chuckled but the joke seemed to get over Aziraphales head.

Crowley walked past the angel to step in front of him, taking both of his hands, giving them a squeeze. ''Zira.. come on.. It will be fine. I'll call you right after I wake up. I promise.''

Aziraphale offered a weary smile, ''I know, my dear. It's just.. I almost lost you.. twice.. within a short period of time and I don't know if I..'', but the angel was hushed yet again by the demon, this time with a soft kiss which Aziraphale was quick to return. Two cool hands cupped his face, wiping away small tears. The angel rested his hands on Crowleys hips and they stood like this for a while; holding each other closely, their foreheads touching.

''Listen..'', Crowley began, ''Everything will be fine. I promise you.''

Aziraphale nodded, his eyes still closed.

''And if anything comes up, I'll call you right away. Okay?''

Another nod was his answer. Crowley placed a soft kiss on Aziraphales lips before he took his hand again to continue their walk.

After a few more minutes they finally arrived at Crowleys flat.

''Well, here we are.'', the angel said with a forced smile on his face. ''I'm looking forward to hear from you.''

Aziraphale was quick to turn around as he could feel tears rising in his eyes again but the demon was faster, catching his hand to spin him around again. ''I'll call you as soon as I wake up.''

''I know you will, my dear. I do hope you'll feel better in the morning. And please don't hesitate to call if anything..'', and yet again Aziraphale was hushed by a quick but loving kiss.

''I won't.'', the demon said with a smile on his face as he turned towards the door.

''Goodnight, Zira.''

''Goodnight, my dear.''

Aziraphale stayed at the same spot for a few minutes more, to make sure Crowley is absolutely safe and sound. With a slow wave of his hands he sent a shield above the apartment building so no-one, who had the intension to harm the demon, could enter.

His heart still felt like a giant stone inside his chest as he made his way slowly back to the bookshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay but i'm afraid there will be even more xb  
currently i'm not very well psychically and mentally so it might take a while  
for me to go on and upload every now and then.  
but here's a longer chapter for you which i hope you'll enjoy!
> 
> *** TRIGGER WARNING for panic attacks, self harm ***
> 
> Crowley is having a panic attack and i'm writing from my own experience.  
Please stay safe guys <3
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Back in his flat, Crowley released a big sigh. The feeling of guilt was overwhelming. Aziraphale had looked so hurt and worried, it was heartbreaking.

But the demon needed some time. Yet again, he felt lost. Everything seemed to be too much for him to handle right now.

With his back pressed against the door, Crowley let himself slip down on the floor, starring at nothing while time continued moving forward. It felt almost impossible to fetch a clear thought, everything seemed to be.. static.

Looking down at his hands, the demon noticed that they where shaking.

A sudden sting of pain caught his attention.

He rolled up his sleeves to find some rather large scratches along his left forearm.

_Shit.. when did that happened?_

A look at his bloody fingernails gave him the answer. Crowley inspected his arm closely as the recent incident with the little girl and Aziraphale words flashed his mind.

_'I do think you still have them..'_

''..I just have to find them..''

Slowly, the demon raised his still shaking right hand and placed it gently on his fresh wounds. He couldn't help but to hiss in pain at the contact. Crowley closed his eyes and tried to concentrate.

_Zira did this as well so maybe it'll work.._

With deep and evenly breaths, the demon relaxed more and more but remained highly focused. Before his inner eyes, he could clearly see the wounds healing, his skin closing, the blood vanishing.

_You can do this.. You can do this.._, he continued to tell himself in Aziraphales voice. A soft feeling of warmth wandered through his injured arm. As the feeling vanished he opened his eyes again, taking one last deep breath before looking down.

''What the..'', was all he could say at the sight in-front of him. The wounds were gone, not even a scar was left behind.

''In any other circumstances I might think this cannot be true but..''

After a few moments of starring in awe, Crowley got up heading towards the kitchen.

_I just need to be sure.._

Opening the cutlery tray, he picked the sharpest knife he could find.

_Aziraphale doesn't need to know.. I just want check if it was coincidence or legit.._

Crowley led the blade towards his left forearm and took one deep breath. A short cry of pain escaped him as the knife cut right through his skin and flesh, blood spilling on the floor, forming a small puddle which got a bit larger second by second.

_Shit!_, the demon thought to himself, _that went a little deeper that expected._

Crowley knew he had to act quick. The knife dropped to the floor and his healthy hand pressed against the gashing wound, blood running through his fingers as the demon tried to get a firm grip.

''Come on, come on, comeoncomeoncomeon...'', panic began to rise.

His body started shaking and a dizzy feeling creeped inside his head. Crowley slumped on his knees, breathing heavily. The demon desperately tried to find his phone in his pocket to call Aziraphale but he was shaking way to much to even reach inside it.

''Come on!!!'', he screamed at himself. Closing his eyes, Crowley tried to focus again, although the dizziness became more and more present. Breathing evenly was almost impossible for him at this point as well, but he did his best to at least keep conscious long enough for the healing to work.

The demon could feel his body leaning more and more to one side, struggling to sit upright. Looking down on his arm again, he tightened his grip and screamed, ''Just fucking heal already!!''

Slow but steady the skin underneath his hand started joint itself together, the blood stopping to spill and Crowley passed out.

*****

A shining bright white light forced Crowley to open his eyes.

''Aziraphale? Shit.. Did I die?''

Crowley was still laying on the floor, but he wasn't in his kitchen any more.

''Sister? What are you doing?'', a man with hair as white as his skin and eyes dark as night was looking down on him with a frown.

''Are you alright?'', another asked, kneeling besides Crowley, offering his hand to help him up. This one seemed like to be the direct opposite of the white-haired one. His skin was the colour of warm ebony and his eyes seemed to reflect every colour there was.

But one thing both had in common. A beautiful pair of white wings where set behind each one of them.

''Come on now, Lucifer wants to talk to us.'', the other snarled as he walked away from them.

''Lucifer.. like.. THE Lucifer?'', Crowley asked perplexed which made the other laugh.

''Do you know another Lucifer, sis? We should probably go now. Seems to be important.''

Crowley took the still offered hand and got up.

''Why are you calling me sister?'', it wasn't more than a whisper but the dark-skinned angel still heard him.

''What else should I call you? Hurry up now Raph, we're already late.''

As he hurried after the other one, Crowley looked down on himself. His chest wasn't as flat as before, but instead carried a pair of small but firm breasts. His/her hands traced down alongside his/her body, feeling the new curves underneath the gown. Reaching up to his/her face, there where no more sharp edges and bristles but soft skin and smooth facial features.

''Guess I'm female now..'', Crowley talked to himself, still touching his face. There was no fear or shook but instead fascination and a comfortable feeling insider her.

''Hey!'', a voice shouted back at her, ''Are you coming now or what?''

Not knowing what else she was supposed to do anyway, she quickly ran after the pair.

As Crowley finally caught up with them, she noticed that small gathering of other angels around them. They seemed to be surrounding something or someone so Crowley did her best to make her way through the crowd.

But the angels seemed to give her enough space as the noticed her.

_Why are they starring at me like that?_, she thought to herself.

As Crowley reached what looked like to be the centre of the gathering, she was greeted by a tall figure in front of her. The demon couldn't believe her eyes as she continued to stare in awe. It was a tall man, his form slender but athletic, long black hair combed back behind his ears, his facial features as sharp as a sword and his burning red eyes..

''Glad you could make it, my little star-maker.'', the man said to Crowley, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Crowley opened her mouth as if to speak but the white haired angel shut her down first which the demon appreciated.

''Lucifer, do you mind telling us what's going on?''

''Please be patient, Hastur. I will explain everything in a moment.''

_Hastur.. doesn't ring any bells.._

''You seem concerned, brother. Is everything alright?''

''I am afraid, it is not, brother.'', Lucifer answered. ''I am afraid, that our Mother has forsaken us in favour of her new creations.''

Anxious mumbling resounded from every angel around Crowley.

''This cannot be!''

''You must be mistaken!'', panic-filled and angry voices started to rise.

''Why would she leave us? You are lying to us, Lucifer! You must be lying!'', the dark-skinned angel screamed with tear-filled eyes.

The white-haired angel, Hastur?, placed a strong hand around his shoulder to calm his fellow brother.

''Lucifer izz right. He'zz telling the truth.'', a smaller angel with short black hair said as they emerged from the crowd. ''I have seen it myself, and I believe many of you have azz well.''

All eyes fell back on the light-bringer, their faces filled with shock.

''Tell me, my brothers and sisters, when was the last time our Mother has spoken to any of you? When was the last time you even got to see Her?'', Lucifer asked into the gathering.

''She told us what we should prepare for those humans. The planet, the garden,...''

''The stars..'', Crowley finished.

''Yes, but have you gotten the message by Her hand?'', the morning-star asked again.

The angels looked at each other hopelessly.

''I think Gabriel ordered me on what to do.'', one of them spoke, others agreed.

''But..'', Crowley began, ''..why would She do that? She loves us, doesn't she?''

_This feels like some kind of.. déjà vu._

Lucifer looked down on her with a frown, ''I have information that our Mother is planning to cast at least some of us out of heaven. Apparently She created us for the sole purpose of banishing us.''

Crowleys heart felt like breaking in her chest and she could feel that she was not the only one. Some wept silent tears, others more openly, clinging to one another but most of them pure anger and furry in theirs eyes.

''But it izz not too late! We can still fight!'', the small one spoke up again.

''We need to inform others as well. We can form a rebellion and take back what is rightfully ours!'' Lucifer had them all where he wanted them, and every single one was with him.

All except Crowley. She wasn't a fighter, not at all, but all the signs lead towards war.

''Go now, my brothers and sisters. Go and spread the truth!''

And off they went, forming smaller groups and running in every direction until they were out of sight.

Crowley hands started to shake again and her breathing came in sharp gasps. Lucifer stepped in-front of her, taking hold of her shoulders before gathering her in his embrace, Crowley leaning heavily against him.

''Hush, my little star-maker. Don't be afraid.'', he said with a calming voice.

''I.. I can't fight.. I never did. I never even had training like the others had! How am I supposed to..'', the demon was at the edge of tears again but calmed down immediately as Lucifer began stroking her hair. Somehow she felt a lot safer now.

''You won't have to fight, Crowley? Oh dear god, no! What have you done?''

Crowley looked up in confusion, the grip around her starting to tighten, ''Have done what? You're hurting me! Let go! Please!''

''Crowley please wake up! Crowley! Please, can you hear me? Wake up!''

She continued to struggle against her captor, ''Let go off me!! Let me go!! Leave me be!!''

She tried to fight off whoever was grabbing her by the arms until she hit something soft. As Crowley finally got free she yanked herself up, crawling backwards until she hit a wall.

The screaming continued until the demon finally opened her eyes, recognising her own kitchen and a familiar figure bending away from her, holding a hand up his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts and self-harming behaviour  
look up one of those numbers. i'm afraid not every single country is  
on this list but it was the best i could find..  
stay safe <3
> 
> https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines
> 
> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait but my mental health is still acting up..  
i'm planing on updating more regulary!
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowleys eyes were still casting around the room in panic.

''Wh.. what..'', confusion and fear audible in her voice. A soft whimper brought her back on track. ''Az.. Aziraphale? What happened? What.. what's wrong?''

She scrambled her way towards the angel, raising a hand to touch his shoulder, when Crowley noticed something terrifying. In place of her fingers, she had now long and sharp black claws.

Although the demon was, yet again, horrified, she quickly rose her attention towards Aziraphale.

''Zira? Are you hurt? Please look at me!''

Slow but steady she made an second attempt to touch him carefully on the shoulder. But to her surprise the angel flinched at the touch and Crowley was quick to withdraw her hand.

''It.. It's no..nothing, my dear. I'm sorry.. P.. Pl.. Please give me a-a-a moment t-t-to fix this..'', Aziraphale stammered with a tear-filled voice.

''Zira please look at me!''

After a few seconds of hesitation the angel turned around, his hand still up at his face. ''It's probably nothing..''

''Please.. Let me take a look?'', Crowley asked. Reaching up to his face, the demon noted that her hand had turned back again to it's usual form. ''Please, Aziraphale. I just want to help you.''

The angel gave her a slow nod and let his hand been guided away.

Crowleys mouth fell open in shock.

''Oh no.. Zira.. Your face!''

Four huge scratches covered Aziraphales face, running even over his eyelids.

''This is my fault. I am so sorry! I could have blinded you!''

The angel tried to keep a confident voice as he spoke, ''No! Please don't worry about it! It was my fault! I should have known better than..''

''..befriend a fucking monster.'', Crowley finished. ''You shouldn't have come here.''

The demon quickly got up and rushed towards the bedroom to gather some clothes into a bag.

''Crowley! Please wait!'', the angel called after her, struggling to get up but slipped on the still wet blood on the floor where he found his demon unconscious.

She came back a few moments later with the now filled bag, passing past Aziraphale without even looking at him.

''Crowley!!'', the angel called after her one last time, making her come to a halt at the door.

''Please.. Stay..'', he whispered in tears, ''I love you..''

It seemed like an eternity past. Both beings holding their breath. Aziraphale still on the floor and Crowley at the door, her back facing the angel.

''I am sorry, Aziraphale. Goodbye.'', and just like that, the demon was gone.

*****

Minutes ticked by. It might have been hours, days, perhaps even weeks. Aziraphale couldn't tell.

He was still sitting on Crowleys kitchen floor, facing the door as if the demon would come back any moment. But it never happened.

The angel tried to process what exactly had happened.

  
  


Shortly after he had arrived back in his bookshop, Aziraphale got a sudden feeling of unease. Something seemed wrong.

Crowley was now about two hours alone in his flat, which alone made the angel pretty uncomfortable as it was. He tried to shake it off and just read until Crowley would call in the morning.

But Aziraphale couldn't concentrate.

After reading the same page five times, he decided to reach out and check on the demon.

''Just to make sure he's okay..'', he told himself while fidgeting with his hands.

As the angel reached Crowleys flat before his inner eyes, he noticed the disturbed aura surrounding the place. Unknowingly he kept hold of his breath as the picture of the demon became clearer.

What Aziraphale saw made him drop to his knees.

The demon was on the floor, covered in blood, his face pale and frightened while mumbling something inaudible for the angel.

Aziraphale rushed out of the bookshop where a cab miraculously waited for him.

He found Crowley unconscious a few minutes later on his kitchen floor.

The first thing he noticed was the body change. But Aziraphale paid that little mind, instead, he focused on finding the source of the bloodshed. To his surprise, there weren't any open wounds.

Still, the demon seemed to have lost a lot of blood so Aziraphale didn't hesitate to let his power flow into Crowley.

As Crowley still didn't seem to wake up the angel began panicking, grabbing and shaking the demon.

It happened within a flash and now Crowley was gone.. again.

With a wave of his hand the blood on the floor vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

As soon as Crowley sat into the Bentley, she tossed her bag onto the back seat and released a shaky breath.

''Please..'', she whispered to her car, ''help me get away from here. I don't care where-ever you decide to take me but.. I need to go.''

The motor roared into life and with screeching tires they made their way out of London.

After just 30 minutes on the road, the car came to a stop on a parking space next to a roadhouse. Hot tears were still streaming down Crowleys face.

''You might want to consider to change first, before you get out there.'' Startled, she turned to the passenger seat to spot a figure with white hair and black eyes, sitting there calmly while smoking a cigarette.

''What the?!'', Crowley cried out.

The man-shaped being turned his head to look at her directly. ''You're still covered in blood. Might startle those humans in there.'', he said while pointing at the roadhouse.

He waved his hand at Crowley, whom immediately found herself dressed in a long black skirt and fitting blouse.

''I.. well.. thank you.'', she stammered while inspecting her new clothes. The demon took a closer look at her company. ''I do know you, don't I?'' A shrug was her answer. ''Yes! I do know you! I remember you!''

He looked at her with a confused face. ''You remember me?''

Crowley beamed at him, ''Yes! You're Lig.. No.. Hastur! You're Hastur, right? We knew each other in heaven! I saw you there! In.. In my dream, I mean. Are you an angel still?''

After a few seconds of baffled starring Hastur began to laugh. ''Me? An bloody angel? Best joke I've ever heard!''

_Well that's embarrassing.._, Crowley thought to herself. ''So.. you're a demon then? Like me?''

The other demon hummed in agreement, ''Just like you.''

''I'm sorry but I'm afraid my memories are kinda.. gone. Are we.. friends?''

An evil smirk formed on Hasturs face, ''Yes. Friends. So tell me, Crowley, what happened to you?''

''If I'd only knew.. I woke up in an abandoned building.. no memories.. just pain and fear..''

''Well, I can tell you, that we have known each other for a very long time. Maybe I can help you to get some of your memories back?''

Crowleys face lit up, ''You would really do that?'', she tossed her arms around Hastur, ''Oh thank you so very much!''

The demon stilled, patting her awkwardly on the back, ''Yeah, sure, no problem. Let's get somewhere else where we can talk.''

Crowley nodded, ''Alright, where do you wanna go?''

''Don't worry about it'', the Duke of Hell said with an devilish grin on his face, ''I know just the right place.''

*****

Nine months. Nine months have past since Crowley had stormed out of her flat; Aziraphale being left behind. The angel had been waiting. But Crowley never came back.

After a month Aziraphale had taken the last of Crowleys plants back to the bookshop, taking care of every single one of them. ''You are all so lovely! I am so proud of every single one of you! And please don't worry, Crowley will be back one day and until then you will grow even more beautifully than you already are.'' The plants seemingly enjoyed all the praise they got, rustling their leaves in joy whenever the angel was within reach.

A sad smile formed on Aziraphales face.

_But will Crowley ever be back?_

He had looked for Crowley, of course, checking all her regular places where the demon liked to spent her time. But nothing.

The only hint was the abandoned Bentley, parked next to a roadhouse somewhere out of London. Aziraphale had sensed Crowleys essence and was quick to arrive at said place, only to find the demon nowhere to be seen. Panicked, Aziraphale had stretched his senses yet again in search for Crowley, but unfortunately, without any success.

His next step had been Anathema.

Armed with a world map, an atlas and a pendulum they began their search. They had worked for hours, searching through the whole atlas millimetre per millimetre, but the pendulum remained still.

''Maybe Crowley isn't on earth at all? Maybe they took him back to hell?''

Of course Aziraphale had considered that but something just told him that this was not the case. But hearing those words from Anathema raised his doubt.

''I don't think so, my dear girl'', he said with a soft voice, ''It's hard for me to explain but, Crowley and I have known each other for such a long time and we somehow.. knew. When the other was not on earth I mean. It just feels like.. she's invisible in some kind of way. I just know she's still there..''

''What about summoning?'', Newts asked quietly. ''I saw it in a movie once.. though I'm not sure if that would.. actually work..? Sorry, I won't say any more and leave you two to it.''

Newt looked (and sounded) like the shy kid in class who always worries about wrong answers spoken out lout and everybody laughing at them as a conclusion.

But Aziraphale smiled warmly at him. ''Don't worry about it, dear boy. They do work, yes, but it is a highly uncomfortable matter. If Crowley really doesn't want to be found..'', he sighed heavily, ''..then I shall respect that. Although it breaks my heart. I just hope she's alright..''

Tears filled his eyes and Anathema took his hand in hers, petting it as she spoke, ''We will find her. Don't worry about it. And besides, I think Crowley can take care of herself, don't you think?''

The angel forced a smile on his face, ''Thank you. Both of you. You've done so well, but I think I wasted enough of your time with my troubles. I'll keep in touch with you.''

He sent a blessing to the couple before he made his way back to his bookshop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! TriggerWarning for Non-Con touching in the last third of the chapter!!
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

The club was crowded to overflowing. The music ear-battering, the humans drunk on alcohol and other substances and the air filled with sweat and other not so pleasant smells. Bodies were rubbing against each other in an attempt to dance, but all in all it just looked like a mess of limbs.

Down the stairs, which led to said club, came a woman. Flaming red locks fell down her backless red dress, which seemed to be so slinky, it might have been just painted on her slim body. Black stilettos highlighted her long legs, which seemed to have no end at all. A pair of black sunglasses covered her eyes, but that just made her all the more mysterious and appealing.

As she made her way towards the bar the crowd appeared to give her enough space so she got there without making skin-to-skin contact. Men and women alike shot her looks of desire and lust. But she paid them no mind.

''Good evening, miss C. It's good to see you again. What can I get for you? The usual?'', the barkeeper asked with a smile on his face as he poured her a glass of scotch.

''You know me too well, Jakob.'', she answered with a smirk as she took a sip. ''Anything I've missed, while I was gone?''

''I've missed you for all that counts.''

That caused her to laugh, ''Well did you miss me or did you just missed me getting some decent boys to.. date.. for you?'', she asked with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

''Both.. but you are still my number one.''

''Oh hush, you! I'll get all red because of you!''

''So what? It suits you. Do you want another one?'', Jakob asked while pointing at her now empty glass.

''If I may?'', a voice next to her spoke, ''The next one is on me. And I'll have the same for me as well.''

Jakob shot the woman a short look but she nodded at him while turning to the man next to her.

''Well thank you, mister..?''

''Thomas. Thomas Brown. But please, just Thomas.''

''Thomas'', she repeated while taking both their glasses to hand him one, ''Pleasure to meet you.''

''The pleasure is all mine miss..?''

''Antonia Crowley. Antonia works just fine.'', she said with a smile as they clinked glasses.

*****

''Alright, where do you wanna go?''

''Don't worry about it'', the Duke of Hell said with an devilish grin on his face, ''I know just the right place.''

Within the blink of an eye both demons found themselves in front of a dirty looking pub.

''Let's go.'', the white-haired demon snarled.

''Don't you think you should wear something less..'', Crowley gestured at Hastur who turned around to shoot her an annoyed look. ''I mean you look like you just crawled out of your grave. No offence! If that's your style so be it, you do you, but I was just thinking..''

''Shut up and get inside.'', and with that said, Crowley followed her fellow demon inside.

As expected, the pub was a sickening sight. The, probably once, white walls were yellowed due to cigarette smoke which hung thick in the air. The floor was sticky with every step as it was covered with several fluids, which Crowley really didn't wanted to guess, the green synthetic leather couches and chairs have been ripped and cut, as well as the tables. The audience wasn't much of a sight either. It was a bunch of drunks, mostly middle-aged men and few women.

Crowley felt ill at the sight and smell. She hugged her middle and followed Hastur close behind, the eyes of several men following her as she clearly stood out of the crowd.

''What is this place?'', she whispered at Hastur from behind.

''Don't you like it?''

''Well, it's very.. special. To say the least.''

The duke of hell led her to a table, placed in the far corner of the establishment and guided her to take a seat next to him. Crowley was about to say something before she was rather rudely interrupted by an old looking waitress, ''Alright, what can I get you two lovebirds?'' Her voice sounded rough, probably due to smoking for the last 50 years.

''A bottle of the strongest thing you have.''

''And for you, princess?'',the waitress asked mockingly.

''One bottle, two glasses. Now leave us.'', Hastur demanded. ''So Craw.. Crowley. Do you remember anything before that fateful night occurred to you?'', the white-haired demon asked while lighting himself a cigarette.

Crowley thought for a moment before shaking her head.

_If the things Aziraphale told me about the apocalypse are indeed true, I should probably keep them for me, just for safety._

Hastur watched her face closely as if to spot if she is lying or not, but after dramatically exhaling some smoke, he began to talk, ''You are probably the most famous of all of us.'' Eyes went wide behind her dark glasses as she let the demon continue. ''You were there, you know? We, no, everyone is sitting here, drinking, having fun, because of you, Crowley.''

''Wh-what do you mean?''

''Don't trust any bible. They thought of you as Lucifer himself, but it was all you. Crowley, the Serpent of Eden, Temper of Eve, creator of the original sin.''

For a few seconds, Crowley was just sitting there, starring at Hastur with an open mouth and wide eyes. The waitress brought her back on track, as she smacked a nameless bottle and two glasses on the table, right between the two demons. Hastur shoot the woman another glare and she went off, mumbling ''You're welcome'' to herself as she did.

''Is.. is this the reason my-my eyes look like this?'', Crowley asked with a shaky voice as she pointed towards her glasses. The duke of hell hummed in agreement while pouring both a glass full of the strange brown liquid. Without thinking, Crowley gulped hers down only to start choking on it. ''Fuck!'', she hissed while holding a hand up her throat, ''What is this? It burns!''

But Hastur just laughed at the sight. ''Is.. Is it really true? Am I really the-the..''

''Yes.''

''But.. Aziraphale.. he said we..'', but she was shut down by the duke of hell in an instant.

''You're not talking about that bloody angel, are you?''

''I.. well.. yes. He was there when I woke up.''

''And he'd probably put you in your misery in the first place!''

Crowley shook her head, ''No, he wouldn't do that. Why would he..?''

''Don't you know that he's a principality? He was a guardian at Eden and had been your enemy ever since, tried to smite you on several occasions with his flaming sword!''

The demon looked at her companion with a frown._ Would Aziraphale really do that? He seemed so caring and loving.._ ''He said, he loves me..''

''An angel being in love with a demon? Don't make me laugh!''

Tears shot right up Crowleys eyes, ''Why does it seem so far-fetched to you?'', she asked sniffing, ''Angels are beings of love, aren't they?''

''Yes. They go around, spilling their love wherever they go. But an angel could _never_ love a demon. Why would they? We are demons, Crowley! We are fallen! We exist to bring pain and misery to the world! You are no different. And besides, you are probably the most hated from all of us and especially for him I might expect.''

''And why's that?''

''After all, you cost him his job. It's most likely that he trapped you and took your memories from you, just to wrap you around his blessed fingers, trying to make you like and trust him.''

Crowley swallowed. _Can this really be true?_

The duke of hell poured her another glass. ''I can sense that you are missing something. Something has been cut off of you with a holy weapon. His sword perhaps?''

_There was a sword when I woke up.. _

''What.. did he took from me?'', her voice now shaking even more.

''My first guess? Your wings. It's the last thing we keep from our former lives.''

She placed a hand over her shoulder, remembering that feeling from back then. Breaths coming deep and unsteady, she gulped her glass down again and got up. ''I'm sorry but I need some fresh air.''

Hastur smirked as he watched her almost running out of the pub, satisfied with his work.

The cold air outside almost cut through Crowley as she started sobbing in the dark alley next to the establishment. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and looked at her contacts.

''Angel..'', she whispered to herself while starring at the number on the display, ''This can't be real.. Please.. It just can't!''

The thought of calling Aziraphale crossed her mind, but she decided against it, shoving her phone back into her skirt pocket. Tears where still running down her face so she missed the two tall figures walking towards her.

''There, there..'', the sudden voice making her jump, ''What makes a pretty girl like you crying like that?'' The two figures looked like they came out of a bad crime thriller. About 1,90 metres at heigh and strong build. Long but thin greasy hair fell over their shoulders, matching their long grey beards.

Crowley looked like a toothpick besides them. ''Oh don't worry, gentlemen. I'll be on my way and..'', she tried to push past them but one of them grabbed her by the arm and pushed her rather forcefully against the dirty wall of the building.

''Why don't you stay? We could make you happy again.. Make you feel.. good.'' One of them said as he lowered his head to smell at her neck.

''I'd rather not so if you please be so kind and just let me..'', but she was trapped between them and the wall behind her.

Their breath smelling like alcohol and rotten teeth almost made Crowley throw up. While one still pressed her tight against the building the other reached up to open her blouse. ''Stop! Let me go!'', she demanded but the two creeps just seemed to get more excited at that.

''Relax, baby!'', one of them said while cupping one of her breast, ''You know, you want it, don't you?''

As one hand reached up Crowleys thigh, she screamed, ''I said, Let. Me. GO!'' One hand reached up to the guy in front of her, sending him flying into the opposite wall, breaking his spine in the process.

The other guy screamed in terror, ''What the fuck have you done, you fucking slut?!'' He pulled out a knife, but Crowley was faster, holding her hand up against him. The man wasn't able to move, fear written all over his face. ''What the hell are you?!''

She made a step towards him, tossing her glasses aside while still holding her hand up in the same high as his heart. As he looked into her serpent eyes, he couldn't help but to pee himself in the sheer terror that went through him. ''Go to hell, you fucking freak!'', he spat at her but Crowley just smiled at him, leaning close to his ear.

''Ladies first.'' And with a twist of her hand, the man collapsed on the ground with a crushed heart in his chest.

''Not bad'', Crowley looked up as Hasturs voice echoed trough the alley, ''Not bad at all.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback <3


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''What have I done?'', Crowley stammered, still shaken from her unfortunate encounter, pacing back and forth nervously. ''I've just killed someone.. no two! I killed two people!''

''Would you please calm down?'', Hastur snarled at her. The duke of hell brought her to an abandoned building which was still used by junkies and homeless for some shelter. The two demons were hardly noticed as everyone was either asleep or passed out or just didn't care at all. ''Don't tell me you actually feel bad about it.''

Crowley stopped in front of Hastur, ''Well I.. I don't know to be honest.''

''Don't you think they got what they deserved?''

The red haired demon thought for a moment, ''I.. well.. I think so.. but still, who am I to decide who lives and who dies?''

Hastur decided that he'd heard enough. In an instant he stood face to face with Crowley, eyes flaring in rage, ''You sent them straight to hell! You're a demon, for Satans sake! It's your fucking job!''

''But..''

''No butts! You're a dead loss! I can't believe it..'', and with that said, Hastur vanished, leaving Crowley alone.

She stood there for a moment, starring at a wall before screaming out in frustration.

''Fucking demons! Fucking angels! Why can't you all just leave me the fuck alone!'' Leaning against a wall, she let herself sank down to the ground, face in hands.

''Dude..'', a sleepy voice next to her startled her, ''You seem like to have a pretty rough time..''

Crowley looked over to her company. It was a young man in his mid 20s. His clothes were dirty and a few sizes to big for his skinny form and his blond dreadlocks seemed to make a cosy home for lice. All in all he was a pitiful sight.

The demon sighed, ''Yeah.. I guess that's one way to put it. They always seem to find me.. I don't know what to do..''

''I might have an idea..''

Crowley turned her head to look at him with a frown, ''Oh? Oh! I'm sorry I don't do..''

The man chuckled, ''Nah, that's not what I meant.''

''Oh, I'm sorry I didn't..'', she apologised quickly, her face turning red.

''It's ok.. But what I meant to say is, I know someone who might be able to help you.''

''You do? Who are they? What's their name? Where can I find them?''

''Woah, easy there.. I can't even tell if I'm dreaming right now so just.. calm down.''

_Well that sounds already promising._., Crowley thought to herself. She took a deep breath before nodding for him to continue.

''So.. She's an old Lady who owns a special shop a few blocks from here. Nobody knows her real name or her age and she can only be found if you know where to look.''

''Ok?'', the demon frowned, ''But she's real? Like a real living person?''

''As real as me and you.. although I'm not sure about you.. you're eyes are so damn cool..''

Her eyes grew wide and she was quick to turn away, _Fuck! I don't have my glasses!_ She concentrated, _Glasses.. Think about your glasses.. You can do it.._ And with snap of her fingers a pair of new sunglasses appeared on her nose. _Yes!_

Crowley turned around to face her company again only to see that he had dozed off. She shook him gently which startled him.

''I'm sorry but.. you were talking about this old Lady who might help me?''

''Yeah.. right.. so where was I? Ah yeah.. so.. some say, that she's a witch, some say she has made a deal with the devil..''

''Ok that's all nice and well but where can I find her?''

''Alright listen..'' Crowley moved closer, eyes fixed on her company. ''First you have to walk six blocks to the east. Take a turn and go six blocks south and six blocks west. Look for the black cat and you will find her.''

The demon thought for a moment, ''Why can't I just walk 6 blocks south from here?''

''Trust me.. you won't find it otherwise.''

Eyeing the man close one last time she got up.

''Well, guess it's worth a try. Thank you..?''

''Jakob.''

''Thank you, Jakob.'',she said while pulling an envelope out of her skirt-pocket.

''What's your name, miss?''

''Crowley. Just call me Crowley.'', the demon handed the man the, now filled, envelope, ''Take care of yourself, Jakob.''

And with that said, she turned and made her way out of the building.

Jakob eyed the object in his hand closely before opening it. He couldn't believe his eyes. The envelope was stuffed full with hundreds of dollars. He jumped to his feet and ran after her screaming ''Wait!'' but Crowley was already gone.

*****

Aziraphale found himself in Crowleys flat quite often in the last few days, always hoping to find his demon there safe and unharmed. He kept himself busy with taking care of Crowleys beloved plants.

The sudden ring of his mobile pulled him out his train of thoughts. A deep sigh escaped him as the angel answered the phone.

On the other side of the line was Warlock. After the Apocalypse-that-never-was they kept in touch with their godchild. They told her everything and it seemed that she loved them now even more. Crowley was more than a nanny for her. She was like the mother, she wished her own would be. No matter the problem, the demon was always there to help. As well as Aziraphale of course. The pair even helped her trough her transitioning. And although Warlock new their real names, she liked to address Crowley as Nanny. She did her best to call the angel by his real name but once in a while she still called him Brother Francis (not that Aziraphale would mind).

''Hello, my dear Warlock.'', the angel answered with a forced smile on his face.

''Hi Franc.. eh.. Aziraphale. I just.. is there any news?'', her voice was trembling and sounded like she cried for at least a few hours.

He took a deep breath before answering, ''I am afraid not..''

''Okay.. you would call me if you knew anything, would you?''

''Of course. How are you doing, dearie?'' Warlock sniffed on the other end and Aziraphale wished he could comfort her. ''Would you like me to visit? Or would you like to come by the bookshop?'', he offered.

''I would love to but.. I'm at the airport right now..''

''Oh? Is it time for school holidays already?''

''Not really. My father wants me to live in the US for a while so I keep in touch with my, as he puts it, American genes.'' Aziraphale could almost hear how Warlock rolls her eyes annoyed. ''I'll stay with some relatives in New York although I never even met them.''

''Don't worry, I'm certain that this will be an exciting experience for you. And you can always call me, whenever you feel like it.''

''But we'll be in totally different time zones!''

''That is correct, but I hardly sleep so don't be afraid of calling me.''

''Alright,'' Warlock said with a sigh,''I have to go.. But I'll call you as soon as I'm there.''

''I'm looking forward to it.'', Aziraphale said with a smile, ''Enjoy your flight, my dear girl.''

''I'll try. But please call me when.. whenever you hear something from Nanny.''

''I will.'',he assured her, ''I promise you.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

It seemed to be just before dawn as Crowley exited the building.

_Alright.._, she thought, _six blocks east. Let's just hope this works._

While walking along the streets, she gazed at the high buildings surrounding her.

_Where even am I?_

She pulled her jacket closer around herself.

_Am I even in England any-more? Feels like this night lasts forever.._

The street looked empty and almost abandoned but there were noises of cars rushing nearby. Crowleys heels clicked loud on the pavement, announcing her approach.

_I wonder.._

In the distance two headlights moved towards her. The demon squeezed her eyes to make out the vehicle.

_They're driving.. on the right side of the road.._ That was at least something so far.

As the car came closer Crowley, she released a shaky breath she didn't know she was holding. It was a yellow taxi.

_I guess New York it is.. interesting._

The demon took her first turn south, and after roughly 500m the next on turn west.

_This must be the street then. Now.. let's see.._

The sun began to rise and so did Crowleys anxiety.

_What if she can't help me? Does she even exist?! What if Hastur finds me.._

The sudden clash of a trash can falling over got her back on track. The demon yelped in surprise. She got closer to inspect the cause of it, only to get startled yet again as a shadow jumped right at her, causing Crowley to fall backwards.

''No! Please don't!'', she hissed as she hold her arms protectively in-front of her face.

After a few seconds of straining silence, the demon noted a soft purring sound.

''Oh for fucks sake!'', was her response as she looked up at the two blue eyes starring at her. ''Was that really necessary?''

On-top of her chest sat a black cat, innocently tilting it's head at Crowley.

''Getting scared of a fucking.. cat?'' 

_'Look for the black cat', that's what Jakob said, wasn't it?_

''Are you the cat I am looking for?''

The feline meowed at her before jumping off and running into the dark alley it came from.

''No, wait!'', the demon yelled as she got up, running after it.

After a few twists and turns the cat came finally to a halt in-front of an old looking shop. It was standing all alone on some kind of plaza, surrounded by tall buildings. It was looking kind of shabby and the windows were too dirty to have a look inside. A feeling of unease filled Crowleys chest. She picked up the cat, which nuzzled around her shoes, crying for her attention.

''Well'', the demon said to the cat, ''here we go..'', as she pushed the wooden door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short one but I'm currently working on the next chapter!
> 
> As anyone even reading this?
> 
> I would really appreciate some comments/feedback to know that it's even worth continuing..


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!  
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

The door opened with a loud screech.

Cautiously, Crowley peaked through it, the cat still in her arms, purring softly. Just as the demon opened her mouth to ask if anyone was even there, as a voice echoed through the shop.

''Do come in, darling, but mind the step!''

''I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you.'', Crowley called back as she walked farther into the shop, which was rather chaotic looking and filled with clobber. Some books, candles, sundry incense sticks and self-made jewellery.

''Oh don't worry about it. I can't remember the last time someone was here to keep me company. Besides Namida of course.''

Finally the woman came into view. She was almost two heads smaller than Crowley and seemed to be a Native American. There were a lot of white hair in her natural black ones which made it almost look grey. It was tied back into a messy braid.

Crowley tried to guess her age but it seemed almost impossible. The demon couldn't even explain why but something about that lady seemed.. strange.

''Who's Namida?'', Crowley asked.

''That ungrateful furball you're holding right now.'', the woman chuckled as she pet the tomcat gently. ''But he brought you here for a reason. There is a lot of pain and confusion inside you.''

Crowley frowned, ''Are you some kind of psychic or something?''

''More like 'or something'.''

''Okay? I'm sorry perhaps I'm in the wrong shop..'', but as she turned to leave the woman grabbed her by the wrist.

Crowley looked at her with wide eyes, ''What the..?''

''Someone's after you.. A man-shaped being, but no man at all.. Something evil..''

''Hastur?''

The Lady glared at her and continued, ''But there's someone else.. someone made of light.. but all he'll bring you is darkness and despair.''

_Aziraphale? No, he would never hurt me.. Not like.._

''Gabriel.'', the demon finished. She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate. ''Nonononono this can't be happening!''

The grip on her wrist loosens and went down her hand instead. It was much lighter, more caring. The woman laid her other hand on-top of Crowleys and began softly stroking her in a calming manner, ''Calm yourself, darling. No harm will find you while you're in here.'' The demon closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. ''There you go.. You're safe here..''

Crowley opened her eyes, ''But I-I can't stay here forever..''

''Hush now. I am well aware of that, but do not worry, I have exactly what you need.'' The woman petted her hand one last time before she went to some kind of back room.

_I just hope Aziraphale is safe.._, the demon thought to herself._ I already hurt him enough.._

And still, no matter what Hastur tried to force into her mind, Crowley knew that the angel was, in fact, true to everything he had said to her. She believed him. But still, she couldn't go back to him. The memory of his bloody face in-front of her, the way he flinched away from her touch, was too fresh, too deep. No, she couldn't go back. Not now at least. There were still things she need to figure out on her own. But, would Aziraphale even welcome her back? After everything she said and did to him? Lost in her thought, Crowley didn't noticed the old lady approaching her from behind.

''There, this should do the trick.''

The demon jumped at the sudden appearance, her glasses falling of her face. ''I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just..'', she stammered while trying to find the glasses with her eyes closed.

''You don't need to hide from me. I knew who you are the moment you entered my humble little shop.''

Crowley still pressed her eyes close, ''You.. You know?''

''Of course, darling! It's not every day that a celebrity comes by.''

The demon chuckled, ''I'm hardly a 'celebrity'..''

''Oh but you are the famous Serpent of Eden, are you not?''

Crowley opened her eyes and looked shameful at the woman. ''Are.. Are you not afraid of me?''

''Do I look like a frightened old lady to you?'', the woman asked with a teasing voice. A little smile formed on Crowleys face as she looked down at her shoes. The old lady took Crowleys hands in hers, ''I know what you are, darling. And I know that you would never harm anyone on purpose. Namida hadn't brought you to me if you'd mean me any harm. You are different from the rest of them. You have good heart, even tho you don't believe it yourself.'' Tears began to fill Crowleys eyes. ''Now, now.. No need to cry, darling. You saved many lives since you first stepped foot on this world. It is just fair that I help you saving yours for once.''

The woman let go of the demons hands to reach inside an old looking box. A beautiful necklace came into view. It had the form of a silver snake which enlaced three black stones. ''These stones'', the woman began,''are for your protection. A black sapphire, a black onyx and an obsidian. They will help you from those who are seeking you. People will still see you on the streets of course, but no eternal or occult being will be able to detect your whereabouts.''

Crowley starred at the necklace in awe, ''It is beautiful. How can I repay you?''

The woman smiled at her and laid the necklet in the demons hand, closing it around it. ''You don't need to repay me, darling. You already did so much for this world. Now go and live. Just try to not get too much attention on yourself. Keep your miracles small and few.''

''Thank you. Thank you so very much!'' The demon put the necklace around her neck, and her glasses back on her nose. She made her way to the door but turned around one last time. ''I don't even know your name!''

''Tituba. Call me Tituba. Now go.''

Crowley smiled back at her, ''Thank you, Tituba. I will never forget what you did for me.''

As the demon went through the door, she almost crashed into a stressed looking businessman. ''Watch where you're going!'', he called back over his shoulder while he ran down the street, which was all of a sudden very busy, and not a plaza any-more.

She turned around to notice that the shop was gone behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tituba was the first woman to be accused of witchcraft in Salem.  
Read more about her here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tituba
> 
> Namidia means something like 'star dancer' and i thought that's pretty cute :3
> 
> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quarantine-time is getting-on-with-the-story-time x)
> 
> Stay at home and stay safe, my friends <3
> 
> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

A month had passed and neither Heaven nor Hell had bothered Crowley so far.

The demon lay on her black leather couch in her newly bought flat, eyeing the necklace like so often. _It must be working,_ she thought to herself._ I just wish I could thank the Witch more generously.._

The flat itself was rather nicely. It wasn't as big as her old one, back in London, but still roomy. The windows were huge, almost filling a whole wall, and the view was stunning, having the Central Park right next to her.

As the sun was setting down Crowley made a decision. Today would be the day she would finally go out and have some fun. She hadn't stepped a foot outside, since she bought the place, keeping herself busy with art and the practice of small miracles.

The demon got the hang of it pretty fast, miraceling a few bits and bobs for her flat, as well as some decent clothes. Most of her furniture was already present and the previous owner had miraculously no need for it any-more.

Standing in-front of her rather full wardrobe she bit her lip. ''What to wear.. what do wear..'', she mumbled to herself while rummaging around. ''Maybe a nice dress? Nah, too flashy.. Just jeans and a shirt? Ngk, too low-key..'' A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. ''Where do I even wanna go?''

Browsing the web for some inspiration she came across a nightclub which wasn't as far from her place. From the pictures she could tell that the club seemed to be underground and features a lot of different music genres. Todays motto was some 80s pop, wave and underground.

''Well, that sounds promising.''

Walking back to the wardrobe determined, she found exactly what she was looking for. Crowley decided for some high-waist, calf-length black pants and a loose fitting blouse which was slightly ticked into her trousers. A silver belt with the look of a snake, biting its own tail gave her outfit the finishing touch. Crowley added just a touch of make-up to her face.

For a while, the demon just stood in-front of the mirror, starring into the eyes of her reflection. Chewing her lip, a little contact lenses case appeared in her hand. The lenses had the colour of a natural looking dark green. As carefully as she could with those shaky hands of hers, she placed one on her finger.

_'My dear, you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen'_, Aziraphales words echoed trough her mind _'They are special, just like you. And I wouldn't change them even a bit.'_

''I'm sorry.. But I need to move on..'', Crowley said to her mirror-self.

Slow but steady, she placed first one, and than the second lens into her eyes. As the demon looked at herself in the mirror, she almost didn't recognised herself. Stunned, she inspected her eyes closer.

''Like someone completely different.. Like someone.. human.''

_But do I really want to be human?_ S

he shook her head and made her way out of the bathroom. Sliding into her ankle strap heels, she grabbed her small purse and a light coat and strode out of her flat.

*****

It had been a month without Crowley and Aziraphale decided to take the rest of Crowleys plants into the bookshop.

The search with Anathema and Newt had been no success and Warlock was now gone as well. The angel felt lonely.

He couldn't concentrate on any of his books, and hadn't eaten since that awful day. The idea of searching for the demon by foot crossed his mind but again, he reminded himself, if Crowley obviously doesn't want to be found, he wouldn't force her or scare her off in the process.

The sun was beginning to rise and Aziraphale decided it might be a good idea to open the shop for a while.

_Maybe just for a few hours.. Just to get something else in my mind.._

It turned out to be a bad idea. He accidentally sold two signed first editions of Oscar Wilde, a small child with chocolate covert hands ran amok around in the (originally) private back room and an unwary customer even ripped a page in the from Dante Alighieri personally signed copy of The Devine Comedy.

Aziraphale was usually very patient and rather laid back. But today was no such day. After the, what must be like, tenth screaming ''Mummy!!'' from the chocolate covert child, the angel lost it.

''Out.'', he said with a rather loud and stern voice. The few Customers looked at him quite irritated but made no move to leave so Aziraphale repeated himself again, with a voice filled with heavenly wrath it almost shook the walls, ''Out! Now!''

Books dropped to the floor as the people rushed out of the shop, the door looking itself after they left and the shutters falling down, blocking out the view from outside.

The angel put his hands up his face and sobbed. After what seemed to be hours, Aziraphale finally calmed himself.

''No! I need to find her! There is no other way! I need to know Crowley is safe!''

A new idea crossed his mind. There was one person left he hadn't asked yet. One person who might be actually be able to locate the demon.

The angel waited till the next sunrise before he made his way towards Tadfield once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

The club was exactly what Crowley thought it would be. It was dark but still flashy, the people danced and sang in nostalgia to the music. Lots of them were drunk and probably even high.

But the demon didn't mind. It felt good to feel the joy and the life surrounding her.

Slow but steady she made her way trough the crowd and towards the bar. The barkeeper was busy with an other order so Crowley leaned her back against the counter and studied the dancing people.

''What can I get you, Miss?'', a voice behind her called.

''Is there a chance you serve sc..'', she said while turning around but her voice broke off as soon as she saw the man behind the bar. ''Jakob?'', her eyes grow wide.

''Oh my god.'', was his response as the man was as stunned as she was. ''Crowley, wasn't it?''

''Yeah-Yes! It's so good to see you, Jakob! I almost didn't recognised you!'', her face lit up with a smile and the demon studied her company more closely. His former shaggy blonde dreadlocks have been cut to a nice modern looking style and his old (and way too big) clothes have been replaced by a nice suit. He looked so much more alive and Crowleys heart filled with a warm feeling.

The young man chuckled and gestured down on himself, ''And this is all thanks to you, Miss. If it wasn't for you I'd be probably dead by now.'' The demon began to blush but as she opened her mouth to object, he shut her down. ''You made this possible for me. After you left me with your generous gift, I decided to turn my life around for good. I rented a room in a cheap hotel to take a shower and cut my hair and wash my clothes. I got back in contact with my grandmother and she allowed me to stay at her place for a while. You have to know that she raised me on her own but after my life went downhill I felt ashamed and left. I found a nice barber and some new and fancy clothes as well. And this job here.. it was pure luck for me! I already was a trained barkeeper but I never got a chance to do it properly. I read somewhere that they needed a new barman quite desperately so I took my first chance and took it! Turns out the bar belongs to an old friend, which I met during our apprenticeship and.. yeah. So, here I am!'' Jakob smiled so wide he could have lit up the whole room.

''I am so happy for you! I truly am! But this is not my doing. I just gave you a small push in the right direction. This,'', she gestured at him and the bar, '' this is all your doing. And I am so very proud of you!''

Tears started to fill both of their eyes and Jakob went in-front of the counter, spreading his arms wide. ''May I?'', he asked.

''Of course.'', and Crowley embraced him with a warm hug.

''Thank you so much'', the man all but whispered and the demon couldn't hold a single tear of joy from dropping. ''So'', Jakob began as he slowly broke of their connection, ''What can I get for you? Whatever you want, it's on the house!''

The demon chuckled, ''There's no need to.''

''But I insist!'', the man said as he jumped back behind the bar.

''Well in that case'', Crowley said with a thoughtful face, ''Do you serve scotch?''

*****

As soon as the sun began to rise, Aziraphale made his way towards Tadfield in a cab which had, miraculously, parked right in-front of the bookshop.

Thoughtful, he starred out of the window, watching the scenery pass.

This was it. His last string of hope.

The angel and demon pair had stayed in contact with Adam and the Them as well after the Apocalypse-that-wasn't and they even introduced Warlock to the group. Aziraphale remembered the first few months after the world almost ended. Everything seemed so peaceful and perfect. The not-so-small group, which included Warlock, Adam and the Them, lovely Anathema and her clumsy (now) Husband Newt, Madam Tracy and (the now retired) Witchfinder Sergeant Shadwell. And although Crowley wasn't a big fan of social gatherings, joy was written all over his face. While Aziraphale mostly talked with the adults, telling them stories of his previous life on earth, Crowley took more joy in playing with the kids, showing of his snake form and chasing them trough the woods, teaching them pranks for teachers they didn't like and telling exciting stories, which he might embellished here and there, for dramatic reasons of course.

The angel smiled at those memories.

As Aziraphale arrived at his destination, he used a quick miracle to determined Adams whereabouts. ''Hogback Wood'', he muttered to himself, ''What a surprise.''

Although the former anti-christ and the rest of the Them were now almost seventeen of age, almost adults, they still enjoyed their good-old hiding spots. The angel could already hear them laugh and chattering as he made his way through the woods.

''Aziraphale!'', Pepper called out in surprise.

''Good morning, my dears. I hope I'm not disturbing a serious meeting?'', Aziraphale said with a smile while wringing his hands nervously.

_Please, Lord, please.._, he prayed to himself, _please let this work.. _

''Not at all'', the girls chuckled as she embraced him.

''What brings you here?'', Wensleydale asked.

''Crowley's still not back?'', Brian blurred out but quickly regretted it as soon as the angels face fell.

Pepper punched Brians should rather hard, making him wince. ''Very sympathetic, numb-nuts.''

''Ouch! I'm sorry..'', the boy apologized with a small voice.

Adams smile had vanished as soon as he spotted Aziraphale, and he had been starring at him with a serious face ever since.

The angel forced a smile on his face, ''Well, no.. I'm afraid not.. That's why I'm here actually. I was hoping..''

But Adam shut him off. ''No.''

Aziraphales eyes grew wide as he looked at the former anti-christ with a shocked face. ''N-no?'', he asked with a trembling voice.

''I won't tell you where Crowley is.''

A pressuring silence fell over them. Even the birds stopped singing.

''So.. you _know_ where she is?''

''I do, but I won't tell you.''

''But..''

''No.''

The Them watched them cautiously, none of them even daring to breath out loud.

''And why is that?'', Aziraphales voice growing furious.

''Because she doesn't want to be found.''

''But I NEED to know where she is! I NEED to know, that she's safe!'' The angel began to glow, but Adam wasn't intimidated and kept a straight face.

''She is safe.''

''And HOW can you know that, boy?? Tell me where she is or I'll..'', Aziraphales wings came into view and eyes covered his whole body. Bloody tears streamed down his face and from every eye.

Was he really going to strike Adam down? To strike a child down?

As a fear-filled shriek caught his ear, he turned his face to see the Them cowering behind a fallen trunk of a tree.

Realisation hit him hard and he was quick to vanish his eyes and wings. The angel sank to the ground, his hands covering his face. ''I am sorry! Oh, what have I done? I am so sorry!''

A hand was placed on his shoulder and Aziraphale looked up to see Adam standing in-front of him. ''I am sorry.'', he began, ''But I really can't help you.''

The angel nodded, ''I understand.''

Adam kneeled down before him, his hand still on Aziraphales shoulder. ''But please trust me when I say, she is safe and she misses you as well.''

The angel looked deep into Adams eyes, suddenly knowing that the former anti-christ speaks the truth. The boy embraced him, and Aziraphale fell into that hug, weeping.

''Crowley is not ready yet, give her some time.''

The angel nodded into Adams shoulder, ''I will. I am sorry, dear boy.''

Would someone had told Aziraphale in his first 6000 years on this earth, that he will be crying his eyes out on the shoulder of the anti-christ, he would have probably declared them insane. And yet, here he was, doing just that.

Cautious steps approached them and soon three extra pairs of arms embraced him as well. They kept like that for a while, the angel slowly calming himself, surrounded by love and understanding.

Aziraphale spent the day in Tadfield, taking the Them to Lunch and visiting Anathema and Newt for some tea and biscuits.

He took his time on his way back to London, walking all the way. The sun was already setting, and the angel bathed in the remaining sunbeams, enjoying all the colours of the sky.

_Crowley will reach out to me_, he thought to himself and even believing it.

''Stay save, my dear.'', the angel whispered towards the darkening sky, hoping Crowley would miraculously hear him, ''I love you.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a rather short one but the next chapter will be longer :)
> 
> this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.  
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''And what have you been up to?'', Jakob asked while polishing a few fancy looking glasses.

The club was empty by now and the music turned down to finally have a conversation in a more pleasant tone.

''Nothing much'', Crowley answered casually, ''settled into a nice flat not far from here and that's about it.''

''So I take it, you found her?'', the young man asked with a smirk while eyeing the necklace the demon played with unintentionally.

Crowley looked down at the jewellery between her fingers and smiled, ''I did. Thank you.''

''What for?''

''For the tip. I might not be here if it wasn't for you.''

Jakob chuckled and filled two glasses with champagne, ''And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.'' He slid one glass towards the demon and raised his own, ''To us and our new life then.''

''To us.'', Crowley said with a genuine smile while their drinks clinked.

''May I ask you something?'', the man asked after his first sip.

''Anything.''

''Are-please don't take this as an offence but, are you human?''

The demon almost choked on her drink, ''What makes you think that?'', she asked with a raised eyebrow.

''Well, back then, when we met I mean, you and this weird looking dude just came out of thin air. I was pretty.. well.. not sober at that time but still.. I remember your eyes and they looked different and really rad if I may say so. And that money.. I just think it hadn't been there a few moments earlier..''

Crowley took a deep breath, ''Well, Jakob, if you must know..'', she looked over her shoulder if anyone might me listening, ''I think you deserve to know the truth..'', leaning closer over the bar, Jakob doing the same, watching her with big eyes, ''I.. are you sure you want to know?'' The boy nodding his head eagerly. ''Are you certain?''

''Yes.''

''I might have to kill you afterwords..''

''Oh come on now!''

''Alright, alright! Listen..'' The bar man swallowed. ''I am a demon. And the weird dude that was with me, also a demon. You might have heard of me before.. I was there, in the _garden, _I-'' The sudden burst of laughter broke her off. Jakob was almost lying on the bar, laughing tears. ''You don't believe me, do you?'', she asked with a smile.

''I am sorry'', he began to say between laughs,''but I always imagined demons to be like, I don't know, bigger, scarier, and with a few more horns and teeth and stuff.''

''Wow that's a such a cliché you know that?'', the demon couldn't help but laugh as well.

''I'm an atheist so please excuse that I won't fall on my knees in-front of you and beg for mercy for my pour sinners soul.''

''Oh that's a pity, I would really like to see that!'' After a few minutes of joy and shared tears both calmed themselves.

''No, but seriously.'', Jakob began again.

''What do you wanna hear from me, Jake?''

''I don't know? Maybe something.. cooler?''

Crowley made fake face of offence, ''Oh, well, _excuse _me for I am so boring.''

''That's not what I said!'', the barman laughed again, ''Please, Miss Demon Crowley, please have mercy on my soul for I have offended you! I am not worthy but please show me mercy!'', he sank on his knees before her, reaching for her hand and kissing it.

Crowley couldn't help but chuckle while making a considering gesture. ''Very well then, human scum. I may have mercy this time, but if this happens again..'', she raised her finger in a warning matter.

''Thank you, my Lady, my soul is yours to take!'', he kissed her hand one last time and moved backwards, still bowed.

Their laughter filled the empty club and it felt so good to finally be cheerful again.

''I should head home now and let you finish up here.'', the demon said while getting up from her bar-chair.

''Alright. Get home safe.''

''I will, don't you worry.'', a tiny, almost not noticeable snap haled through the room.

''And please feel free to come back any time!''

''Oh I'll come back, don't worry.'', Crowley called over her shoulder while walking towards the exit.

''Was that a promise or a threat?'', Jakob chuckled.

''Oh, whatever you think of it,'' the demon turned around one last time, and winked at the stunned man, her eyes fully snake-like. ''See you 'round, Jake. Goodnight!''

And with that the demon walked out, leaving Jakob back, mouth dropped. ''N-Night.''

Back in her flat Crowley slipped out of her shoes and turned on the TV with a wave of her hand before heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

_'.. sad news reached us today. Another girl has been reported missing. The 16 year old Sarah P. is now the 8th to vanish out of thin air. If you have any information which could lead to her whereabouts, call the police immediately. Her parents Martha and George P. have set out a 2.500$ reward to anyone who has further information. Two of the other missing girls have been found dead, nothing is known of the remaining ones. The police suggests that no girl between the ages of 10 and 23 should walk outside alone, especially at night..'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

It's been almost six months since Crowley decided to stay in New York. And almost every night she spent her time at the club with Jakob, laughing and talking about all kinds of gossip. But tonight was different. The barkeeper seemed depressed. At the question what it was that bothered him, he handed her his smartphone. It was an article of another young girl that had gone missing.

''Who is she?'', the demon asked with a furrowed brow.

''That's Miriam, the daughter of my neighbours. She's eleven and such a nice little girl. One time, when my grandma was sick, she brought her cookies and soup like every day. And now.. she's missing.''

''Has anyone an idea to where she might be?'', Crowley asked as she eyed the picture of the girl closely.

Jakob shook his head, ''Nobody knows anything. There are like, what, ten? Ten girls missing already. And the police has no clue. No hints, no witnesses, nothing.''

_Children.. all of them.. _

''I'll look into it, I promise you.'', the demon tried to assure him.

''Are you going to turn into a bat and fly all over the city or something? I don't think there's anything you could do.''

''Well, first of all'', Crowley began while handing Jakob his phone back, ''I am not a vampire. I don't turn into bat, that would be ridiculous! I only turn into a snake and only if I am in the mood for it. And secondly, you forget that I am quite a tempter. I'm going to talk to people, and they are going to tell me everything they know.''

''And if you can't find anyone? Can't you ask your angel boyfriend for help?'', Jakob swallowed as he realised what he had just said. ''I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..''

''Don't worry about it'', she waved him off, ''I know you're just trying to help. I'll see what I can do, okay?''

The barkeeper nodded, ''But don't get yourself in too much trouble. You're my best customer after all.''

Both chuckled and Crowley rose her glass, ''I'll find them. I promise you.''

''I know'', Jakob answered as he clinked his glass of water with her scotch.

*****

Crowley had spent all night and the following day with surfing the web for information on the missing girls. She tried to find a connection between all of them. But other than their gender, they didn't seem to have much else in common. The girls were all pretty, by the looks of it, well-tended and between the ages of 10 and 19. Something inside her told Crowley, that these girls were still alive and not the victims of a serial killer. They were snatched up at different times and different locations. The only thing was, they were always walking alone. Crowley leaned back in her chair and sipped on what must have been like her fifth coffee.

''Where are you.. where, where, where..''

'Can't you ask your angel boyfriend?', Jakobs words crossed her mind.

_I can't call him on the phone_, she thought to herself. _He could track me down easily and I'd have to move._

''Does he even miss me?''

Her eyes trailed around her flat and suddenly fell on her old record player. She knew, demons were able to communicate through all kinds of things like tellies and radios. But could she do it? And would it even reach the right person? Crowley got up and moved in-front of the player to turn it on..

*****

It had been six months since Crowleys disappearance and Aziraphale slow but steady calmed down enough to even open his shop properly once in a while. It was already dark outside as the angel walked the last customer out, closing up behind them.

The visit to Adam, a few months back, had helped Aziraphale to never loose hope.

''Crowley needs time'', he always told himself, ''She will reach out one day.''

He made his way towards his kitchenette to make some tea, as he registered a sudden noise coming from the backroom.

''Hello?'', the angel asked cautiously, ''Is anyone still here? We are closed, I'm afraid.''

Walking around to look for a hidden customer, Aziraphale came across his record player, noticing it was turned on. ''Huh'', he said to himself, ''how peculiar.''

With a wave of his hand, the device turned off. As he made his way back to the kitchenette, the player turned itself on again, making strange sounds.

''Zi...a..el''

The angel took cautious step closer, playing a bit around the controls to get a better sound.

''Aziraphale?''

All of a sudden he was falling backwards on the floor, shock written all over his face. ''This can't be..'', he told himself as he starred at the record player. ''Crowley?''

''Aziraphale can you hear me? Is this working?''

The angel crawled forward, grabbing the device. ''Yes, Crowley! I can hear you! Where are you? Are you-''

''Hello? Zira? Ngk what am I doing?'' There were some other noises, which seemed like the demon was working her device.

_She can't hear me.._

''Well that went well..'' Aziraphale moved closer to Crowleys voice. ''Oh fuck it.. Aziraphale, I don't..'', a sigh, ''I don't know if this is actually working and if you're even listening.. Hell, I don't even know if you even care any-more..''

''I do care, my dear'', the angel whispered into the device.

''I.. I just wanted you to know, that I am ok. I'm fine. And I.. I miss you, Zira.''

Tears streamed down his face at those words but he kept himself silent to not miss a single tone of Crowleys voice.

''I-I can't tell you where I am.. not yet.. There is something I need to take care off first. I made a promise, and I want to keep it. But please, if you still care that is, I am planing on coming back. Just.. not yet. I do hope you are okay.. Is anyone troubling you? Ugh why am I asking if you can't even answer me..''

Aziraphale chuckled, a big smile on his face.

''I had a bit of trouble at first.. One of my old '_pals_' hit me up and told me that..'', a pause followed by a sniff on Crowleys side, ''..that everything you told me, was a lie.'', the demons voice was trembling and the angel wished nothing more than to be by her side, holding her. ''But I didn't believe him! Aziraphale..''

''Oh, my dear..''

''I.. I am so sorry. For everything I have done to you.. I really hope that one day, you can forgive me.''

''There is nothing to forgive..''

There was more sniffing, shortly followed by a chuckle, ''Oh my.. I really hope no-one but you hears this.''

The angel giggled with the demon.

''Just imagine some parents sitting in their beds as my voice comes out of their baby monitor. But if that's the case.. Hey, Mum! Hey, Dad! You guys impressed? Noice. Now bring me some sweets!''

Crowleys laugh filled the room and Aziraphale was joining her. ''Good to hear you haven't changed that much, my dear.''

''Well then.. I should get going.. I have a lot to do..'', another deep sigh, ''I truly hope you are hearing this, Zira. I miss you. Take care of yourself. Ciao.'' And with that said, the record player turned itself off.

The angel continued to sit at the same spot for a while, fingers softly stroking the hard wood of the device.

After such a long time, Aziraphale finally felt at peace. He knew Crowley was alive and well and was even thinking about coming back to London. With a big smile still on his face, the angel walked up to the phone. After a few seconds, a voice answered his call. ''Hello, Warlock?'', his voice was still trembling from those tears of joy, ''You wouldn't believe who just called..''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: some non-con touching/kissing 
> 
> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

''Have you had any luck so far? Any hints?'', Jakob asked while cleaning up the bar.

The club was almost empty, only a handful of people remained to chatter and laugh together.

''I'm getting there'', Crowley replied with a tired voice. ''One of my contacts told me, there is a whole organisation working for one guy, or something like that.''

''And you think they are behind all this?''

The demon nodded while taking a sip of scotch. ''But I have a plan, and I might need your help with it.''

''What do you need me to do?'', the barkeeper asked with big eyes, ''I'll do anything you need me to do!''

Crowley reached out to pet his hand, ''Calm down, you don't need to kill anyone or something like that. No, what I need is the room backstage. Where the DJs usually chill. I need that room for a night.''

Jakob raised an eyebrow, ''What do you need it for? Should I bring you some condoms?''

''I hope there will be no need for that but anyway, I have my eyes on someone who might be working for said organisation. My plan is to make him following me right her where I'm just going to make him tipsy enough to loosen his tongue.''

''And then you're going to..?''

''Tempt him. To tell me what I need to know.'' Jakobs brow furrowed in thought. ''What is it?'', Crowley asked.

''Are you sure this is going to work? That this is even safe?''

''Oh my darling, don't tell me you are worried about me?'', the demon asked with a teasing voice and a smirk on her face. As she got no answer from him, she took his hand yet again, squeezing it,''I'll be fine, don't worry about it.''

''I know..'', Jakob said with a sigh, ''It's just.. You don't know anything about this guy. What if he's like mafia or something like that?''

Crowley chuckled but the barman was dead serious. ''Ok look, if anything goes pear-shaped, I just turn into a giant snake and swallow him whole.''

Big shocked eyes looked back at her and the demon couldn't hold herself back any-more and burst into laughter.

''Did you do that before?'', the man looked frightened but Crowley laughed even harder. ''You are making fun of me, aren't you?'', slowly, a smile began to form on Jakobs face.

''I'm sorry, but you're making this too easy!'' Both giggled for a while until the demon spoke again, ''But seriously, you have no need to worry. I just want to talk that's all.''

''Alright..'', the young man answered although he still didn't seemed to be convinced, ''and when are you going to do this?''

''In a week. I'll have to prepare a few things first. Slowly making my way into his life, pique his interest. Just make sure the room is free for me when time comes.''

''Will do, don't worry about it.'' Jakob raised his glass, ''Let's just hope this works''

Crowley did the same, ''Trust me, it will.''

And with that said, their glasses clinked.

_The next week..._

''The next one is on me. And I'll have the same for me as well.''

Jakob shot Crowley a short look but she nodded at him while turning to the man next to her.

''Well thank you, mister..?''

''Thomas. Thomas Brown. But please, just Thomas.''

''Thomas'', she repeated while taking both their glasses to hand him one, ''Pleasure to meet you.''

''The pleasure is all mine miss..?''

''Antonia Crowley. Antonia works just fine.'', she said with a smile as they clinked glasses.

''Please tell me, miss Antonia, what brings a lovely lady as you into a place like this?'', the man gestured around them.

The demon chuckled, ''Oh what can I say? It grew onto me. Can't you feel the energy that surrounds this place?'', she leaned closer to him, ''The heat of it all.. the excitement..'', her fingers traced over the mans knee.

Thomas licked his lips, a hungry look in his eyes, ''Oh, I do feel it..'' Crowley sent him a smirk as she threw her long waves back over her shoulder to reveal her slender neck. ''Maybe we should.. find a place more.. private?'', the man breathed.

_Got'cha!_

''Of course.. Jakob, darling? Is my room ready?''

Mr Browns eyes went wide at her words.

''Everything set for you, Miss C.''

The demon reached one hand towards to man, ''Shall we?''

''With pleasure'', he said as he took her hand and followed her into a back room.

''Please, just take a seat'', Crowley gestured at the red couch in the room, ''I'll be with you in a second.''

Thomas took his suit jacket off before he went to said couch. His eyes traced around the room. It was dim lit and the music from the club was almost not hear-able at all. Crowley sauntered towards the small bar across the room to gather some cooled champagne and two glasses.

''So, I take it you come here often?'', the man asked as he watched her every move.

The demon hummed in agreement, ''But it's a pity that I'm not always in such a nice company..'' She took her time filling the glasses.

Thomas smiled, ''I have to admit'', he began, ''I had my eyes on you for a while now.''

Crowley raised an eyebrow, ''Oh really?''

''I am not a stalker'', he chuckled and the demon answered with a fake laugh, ''the first time I saw you, you sat at a cafe, reading. You even noticed me and winked at me, but I was.. busy so I couldn't stop by to introduce myself. But after that.. I couldn't get you out of my head.''

Slowly, Crowley made her way towards Thomas, champagne-filled glasses in hand, as she listened close to him.

''Please don't think of me as soppy, but it seemed like a hint from God to me. I often seemed to see you from the corner of my eye. And than, when I saw you today I just.. had to follow you.''

''And I am glad you did, Thomas'', Crowley sat herself close to him, one slim leg over the other, one hand playing with the back of the sofa. ''So tell me, what does a handsome man like you do for a living?''

His eyes fell down on her legs, tracing them up and down, ''You could say I work in a purchasing department..''

Crowley wondered if the man would start to drool soon, but she played further along, stroking his leg with her foot. ''And what is it that you purchase?''

''Just some playthings.. My boss is really into dolls..''

Those words made Crowley feel sick but she did her best not to show her disgust.

As she opened her mouth to speak the man almost jumped at her, pressing his lips against hers.

At first, she softly pushed him off, ''Oh Thomas, I would really like to hear more about you..'', but he was above her in the next moment, placing kisses down her neck, ''Later.. You are so beautiful..''

As his hand began to creep up her leg she pushed him away more forcefully, pinning him against the back of the sofa while she jumped onto his lap. She did her best to ignore the bump in his pants as she spoke, ''When and where will be your next _purchase_?''

But Thomas just smiled at her, ''Oh, you're a dominant one.. I like that..''

That was enough. Crowley reached up to throw her sunglasses across the room. The man shrieked in surprise at the look of her yellow eyes. He tried to shove her off, but the demon was stronger. ''Tell me!'', she hissed, showing off her sharp teeth and snake tongue, ''Who is your next target?!''

''I don't know her name!'', the man whined, ''I just know her description and the address where we're supposed to pick her up!''

''You mean, where you're going to kidnap her!''

Thomas pressed his eyes shut and nodded. After a few minutes of hysteric crying he told Crowley the date and place of their next victim.

''Well, thank you, Thomas. That wasn't that bad wasn't it?'', the demon asked as she moved off his lap. ''I want you to do something for me. I want you to get home and sleep. And when you wake up you won't have any memory of our conversation. Ok? Great. Now go!''

Thomas was at his feet as once and stormed out of the room, still in tears.

Satisfied, Crowley sat down at the couch again, sipping at her champagne as a stunned Jakob appeared in the doorway, ''Are you ok? Did it work?''

''I am and yes. I know where to find their next target.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please feel free to leave me some comments/kudos :3 <3


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first of all: hi!   
this is my very first fanfic ever.. so please excuse some logical errors that might appear in this story.   
i am also no nativ speaker so please excuse some grammatical errors as well (>.<)

Crowley had been waiting on the location for the supposedly next kidnapping for hours. She couldn't risk coming to late when a childs life was in danger. It was mid-afternoon and the demon watched her surroundings closely for any hint of ether the child or the abductors.

The neighbours seemed to be a quite nice and rich one. Not many people walked around but that was probably the point.

''Just five more minutes..''

Now Crowley began to get really nervous, pacing around like a tiger in a cage. Suddenly, she heard someone talking and giggling.

''Yeah, I'll call ya tomorrow. See ya.'', a dark haired teenager turned into the street, her smartphone still in hand.

The demon knew immediately that she was the next target based on the description she got from that creepy Thomas Brown guy. The girl still smiled down on her phone in hand, her bangs almost covering her blue-grey eyes. Crowley couldn't help but watch her, something seemed familiar.. As those light eyes met the demons, both beings stood there almost in shock.

_She knows me._., Crowley thought to herself, _she.._ ''Warlock?'', it was almost a whisper.

''Nanny?'', was her answer in the same whispering tone.

It hit the demon like a wall in her face, pictures of a young babe in her arms, a child laughing and screaming in a garden, reading some bedtime-stories together..

''Warlock!'', Crowley repeated more loudly and the girl on the other side of the road did the same.

''Nanny!''

They made their way towards each other as a black limousine came screeching around the corner and came to a halt between the two. What followed was the high scream of Warlock as a man grabbed her from behind and pushed her into the car.

The demon chased towards her god-child, screaming, ''No! Warlock!'' and just as she reached the door handle something hit her on the back of her head, turning the world around her pitch black..

***

''Nanny? Crowley? Please, wake up!'', a tiny voice called from the distance. As Crowley opened her eyes she was surrounded by darkness except for a dim light above her head, which hurt quite terribly. A soft hand brushed a few loose strains of hair from the demons face. She noticed that her head was placed on something soft, like a pillow, but she was still struggling to come back to her senses. ''Nanny, please wake up, please..''

The demon made a move to sit upright, but her body felt so heavy. ''Warlock? Are you alright?'', Crowley asked with a shaky voice.

''I am, yes.'', Warlocks voice was trembling, ''You remember me?''

Another attempt to sit up, this time successfully, ''Of course I do, my little hell-spawn''

The young girl fell around her neck, weeping as Crowley hold her tight in her arms. She looked around inside the limousine and noticed that the windows had been darkened to prevent an outside few. Even the view to the driver had been dimmed.

''Who are these people? Where are they taking us? Why-'', but Crowley hushed her and placed kisses on top of her head. ''I don't know yet, ducky. But I'm going to find out.. We just need to hang on for a while, okay?''

Warlock looked up at her with red-rimmed eyes, ''Are they going to kill us? Is it because of my dad?''

''I would never let them harm you, I promise you that. As long as I am here, you're safe.'' The girl nodded before pressing herself tight against Crowleys chest, the demon tracing calming circles on her back. Both stayed like this for a long time until the car came to a halt. ''Just try to stay calm, I won't let them hurt you, okay?''

The door swung open, blinding the two with shining white lights. ''Get out, both of you'', a deep voice called.

Crowley exited first, shielding Warlock behind her. Looking around their surroundings, the demon noticed that they where in some kind of huge garage with lots of fancy cars.

''Go stand at that wall'', one of the two men demanded, ''and don't even try to run. No-one would find you here.''

''Nanny?'', Warlock looked up at her with tear-filled eyes. Although her god-child reached almost over her own shoulders at height, Crowley shielded her as best as she could from the eyes of their abductors.

A third man appeared with a bag in his hand. ''You, girl, go put this on'', he demanded as he threw the bag towards her.

Slowly, the demon picked it up and took a look inside. ''You cannot be serious.''

A gun was pointed her way, ''I am serious''

Anger rose inside her but there was nothing she could do.. yet. Crowley had to find the other girls first. She pulled out a pink dress and handed it Warlock reluctantly. Fear was written all over the poor girls face but the demon gave her a short nod.

''A little privacy perhaps?'', she sneered at the men, but they continued to stare at them. The demon opened her jacket and spread it wide to hide Warlock as best as she could.

With shaking hands, the young lass began to undress herself. As she pulled down her skirt and opened her blouse, one of the men spotted her fake bra pads as well as the outline of something else in her pants.

''What the hell?! That's a boy! You idiots!'', the third man screamed at the other two while Crowley swung her jacket around Warlocks trembling body, using their distraction for her advantage.

Warlock was at the edge of tears but the demon steadied her with a firm grip on her shoulders, ''Listen to me, Warlock. I'm going to send you to Aziraphale''

''No please, come with me!'', she whimpered.

''I can't just now, those people kidnapped at least ten girls around your age and I need to find them first.'', Crowley pulled her protective necklace over her head and handed it to Warlock, ''I want you to give this to him. He should be able to find me now because I have no idea where we are right now.''

''No, Nanny, please come with me!''

The demon hugged her tight and placed one last kiss on her forehead before raising her hand, ''I love you, my little hell-spawn.''

And with a snap of her fingers, Warlock was gone..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm always thrilled to hear some feedback so please leave some comments/kudos for me to know how I'm doing and if you are still interested in that story <3


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